20/52

"a portrait of each of my children, once each week, in 2015"

Cruz: Had a superhero party at school on Friday.  He got to dress in his Iron Man costume and scored this Venom tattoo. My usually nonchalant boy is showing more and more excitement to things like this, asking lots of questions about how many more days, and sometimes, months, before big things we talk about.  He asks me about vacation almost daily, and it's been fun providing him things to look forward to.  

Mila: Give this one a pretty dress and something that resembles a purse and she is a happy camper.  I got this little dress at Target a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to put her in it.  It has netting under the skirt that makes it poof and she looked pretty adorable walking around after church with her buckets around her arms.  Her dress is now soaking in the laundry room, however, after she got a little too close to my dirt flower pots.  All the more fitting... :)  

A Mama's Heart

"I believe that motherhood is sacred ground where the Holy Spirit does some of his best work."

-Lisa Jo Baker

The other night we spent about an hour at Southdale's playground, a night where the weather felt more like fall than spring.  It was cool and crisp, the perfect night for sweatshirts and shorts.  My phone was left in the car, my camera left at home, and the four of us played hard until we realized it was a half hour past bedtime.  We played hide-and-seek, practiced pumping on the swings, and ended the night in the huge green field behind the playground, kicking the soccer ball and chasing a squealing Mila in the damp, fragrant grass.  After awhile, I sat on the edge of the black top and watched the three of them together, taking advantage of one of those rare five minute opportunities to just watch them, soak them up, and reflect on what it means to be their mom.  

Lately, it seems we've been caught in the trap of thinking ahead.  Our current right now feels busy and messy.  I'm not sure if we are still attempting to find a routine after months of upheaval, or if our current season raising two active, sticky, and headstrong little people has left us overwhelmed and tired.  Dinnertime is where it all seems to peak, as Mila starts whining the minute she sees food being prepared, and we rush to fill little plates, pour glasses of milk, and attempt to all land at the table around the same time, preferably before our food gets cold and before Mila starts throwing hers on the floor.  We butt heads about how much Cruz should eat before he's excused, I get up a hundred times to grab a fork, the salt, or the ketchup, to which I sacrifice another white onesie and let Mila go to town because it's the only thing that will allow me five minutes of silence to eat.  I want to throw in the towel the minute she begins to use the ketchup on her plate as shampoo, but we all laugh instead, because sometimes, that's just all you can do.  And then I think to myself that someday, it's going to get easier.  Mila will no longer want to lick ketchup from her fingers and Cruz will maybe eat better.  They will both be old enough to entertain themselves while I find joy in preparing dinner again, setting the table, and lighting a candle.  We'll sit down at the same time, talk about our days, and all contribute with clean up, clean up that will no longer involve taco meat smeared on the floor and raspberries stuck to the back of little legs.  

But then, as I watch them on that big field of grass, at the school where Cruz will start Kindergarten in just over a year, I get short of breath knowing that someday, they'll be too big to take to the park after dinner.  That someday, when they hurry through their meal and can't wait to be with friends or do something without us, that I will think back to those messy, hurried, ketchup in the hair dinners and long for one more night with those wild little ones around my table.  Parenthood is like that, filled with raw emotions that consume every piece of your heart, that make you long for tomorrow but cling to your present, all at the very same time.

It was graduation weekend here this past weekend and my social media accounts were flooded with pictures of high school grads.  Babies dressed in shiny caps and gowns, their arms wrapped around their parents'.  And instead of paying attention to their faces this year, I looked at their moms and dads.  I stared into their eyes, and saw everything that it means to be a parent.  I saw pride and overwhelming love, all enveloped with an ache and longing for all that went so very fast.  The days feel long at times, but the years go by in a blink of an eye.  

I long to live these days well.  The good, the bad, and the ketchup-in-the-hair days in between.           

My Mother's Day

Since the forecast for Mother's Day Sunday looked cold and rainy, we decided to forfeit our plans for cleaning the garage on Saturday and do a fun day instead.  It started with a trip downtown to our first farmer's market of the season.  The familiarity of one of my favorite summertime rituals felt so good and we welcomed old favorites - rasta lemonades, chocolate chip scones, and produce from Hoffman's, while also trying some new to the scene items that will surely become our familiar as the season goes by.  We sat on the curb and devoured La Calle's two newest additions to the market:  Arepas, a grilled corn flour flatbread, filled with their award-winning slow cooked chicken, and our favorite, Cachapas, two Venezuelan sweet corn pancakes filled with braised pork and topped with melted cheese curds from Hanson's Dairy.  Both were delicious, but the Cachapas knocked our socks off!  If you haven't tried La Calle on College Hill, I recommend it!

After filling our bellies full with market goodness, the day took us on a drive around campus and a prairie to explore.  I asked for some pictures with the kids for Mother's Day, and this was the perfect morning to do it.  The skies were overcast, the wind was slow and soft, and the prairie grass provided perfect spring hues of greens and browns and yellows.  I picked some flowers and grass for my table, Mila got wild with a long stick, and Cruz and Beau explored, later discovering a slew of ticks that eventually made their way in our car (and ear and top of my head for that matter).  We took some fun pictures, including some family ones that may have been framers if it wasn't for the fact that Beau insisted we look like zombies.  Doesn't he know that even if we try to take a good picture, someone almost always ends up looking like a zombie anyway? 

We were supposed to be pretending we were zombies...who knew?

Her curls!

Our drive continued northbound and we soon ended up at Phil's fun farm, another agent who works with Beau.  I've always loved any time spent with Phil and his wife, Ann, but watching the two of them so effortlessly take over with our children and show them their farm about did Beau and I in.  What started as a quick trip to borrow Phil's power washer, turned into over an hour of fetch with Phil's dog, Buddy, wandering around in each of Phil's barns, picking asparagus, and going on a 4-wheeler ride down to the Cedar River.  The kids had a blast and we both decided the Swisher's Fun Farm might just be the best location to ship the kids off for an hour or two every now and then. :)

Because we weren't planning on spending that much time at Phil's we decided on a late lunch on Main Street.  We got the kids hot dogs and shared a garbage basket at Toads before Beau let me off to do a little shopping on my own while he paraded with the kids, including a very Hollywood Mila, on the parkade.

We ended our afternoon with a long bike ride.  We circled Prairie Lakes Park, discovered a perfect hill to stop and watch the sunset, and ended our ride at one of our favorite new playgrounds.  We were the only ones there and were having a grand old time until Beau sprang into some super Dad action and cut his lip open trying to save Mila from getting smoked by Cruz on a swing.  The whole thing happened in about 2.5 seconds, but all I can replay it in is slow motion.  It was some pretty serious stuff!  We rode home from some ice packs and popcorn, chocolate shakes, and Paddington!  The perfect way to spend my Mother's Day, besides the whole cutting of the lip thing. :)