Mornings

 

Is it bad to admit that sometimes I miss those early days of quarantine?  The weeks when everyone just stayed home and hunkered in and ate meals around the table again?  Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful our kids are back in school and we are back to work, but there are parts and pieces of those days last spring that I was committed to carrying through once life did go back to "normal."  

One of the things that changed for us this fall was the opportunity to close out our chapter of daycare.  We were done with full-time daycare once Mila went to kindergarten, but still paid for the option of before and after school care at our same center.  But after a few months of working from home with kids at home, we mostly realized Cruz and Mila were easy to have around.  And now that my job is temporarily here at home, we moved some things around to allow the kids to be home before and after school.  Some days they ride their bikes, most days I bring them, and only a few times has this created some havoc on my work schedule, especially when I have 40 college students on Zoom watching as Mila is losing her mind about Cruz eating her snack.  That and the fact that the door bell rang a total of five times during one 1-hour class a few weeks ago.

Our mornings have been one of my favorite changes around here.  Beau used to bring the kids to daycare and would be hustling to get them out the door by 7:15 so he could get to work by 8.  More times than not someone was either extremely annoyed (Beau), someone was looking for a lost glove or stocking hat (Cruz), someone was crying about a tag itching her back or the wrong snack packed (Mila), and someone was wishing for a restart button (me).  Now, Mila is rarely up before 7:30.  I get to sneak into her room every morning, push her bedhead out of her face and snuggle up for a minute or two against her warm sleepy self under those covers.  I make my coffee about 7:40, and Cruz and I promptly read ten pages of Harry Potter together on the couch while Mila wakes up.  We talk about things like student council, equivalent fractions, or gaga ball over breakfast, and all take our time packing our bags and loading up the car to head up the street to school.  I get to wave at neighbors, listen to good music, smile at all the cute dogs with their heads out of car windows, and kiss the kids goodbye as they pile out of the car and walk side by side into school.  Mila's newest thing is to turn around and give a salute before walking through the doors.  It's the best way to start my day.

So if I am thankful for one thing that's stuck since all this COVID stuff, it's finding a little more slow in our morning routine.  A few other things that have stuck around since COVID...

Surprise lattes on the front porch thanks to next door neighbors...  

A really fun book club who just happens to pick the best books to get lost in...

Blankets and books in the reading chair...

And new adventures in decorating a little for the spirit of Halloween.  Because if there's ever a time to start I'd say this would be the year.  

What new habits were formed earlier this year that you hope to continue to invest post-quarantine?

A Decade Old!

 

Our boy is 10 today.  One whole decade of parenting and raising this little boy.  How is that possible?!  We celebrated him big this weekend, breaking him out of school on Friday to go enjoy the gorgeous fall weather in Decorah, throwing a flag football party on Saturday with family (because when I asked if he'd rather have a family party or a friend party he said family), and waking up to birthday pancakes, a few presents, and a Hartman hike for just us four on Sunday.  But my favorite way to celebrate ten years of Cruz came from a not-so-little 45 minute video I created last week.  After sifting through ten years of external hard-drives and spending some late nights at the computer desk editing footage with tears literally running down my cheeks, I pulled together a video of Cruz.  We watched it together on Sunday and it was a special trip down memory lane.  

Little memories we had forgotten came flooding back.  Cruz used to kick his little legs in the morning after we'd let him out of his sleep sack and Beau would always sing "He's a Maniac."  Or when he was a little older and Beau and him had this thing where Beau would say, "Hey Cruz, what should we do today?" and Cruz would immediately put his finger to his chin and pretend to contemplate really hard before shooting his hand in the air as if he just thought of the best idea ever.  I had forgotten how he used to torment our kitty, Jade, or scrunch his little nose up real tight and suck in air, or how much he loved singing "If You're Happy and You Know It."  As much as I loved watching all that footage of little Cruz, I equally loved hearing Beau and I's voices, our simple world in our first little house, our big joy for our sweet baby boy who had changed our world and given us the title of mom and dad.

It was pretty surreal to watch baby Cruz and see so many early characteristics of his personality unfold and grow with his years.  His natural smile, his love for all things random and silly, his abundance of words, his love for books and that contemplative look when he's thinking real hard, and his patience and loving heart for his sister from the very start were all evident from the very start.  It was pretty easy to see God's handiwork in creating our son from the start and to see some of my favorite parts about him then have only grown stronger since.   

I'd be lying if I said creating that little video and thinking back to those early days of learning to become a mom didn't bring up a wildfire of emotions.  Those days were so simple, so special, and a part of me wanted to take a time machine back to that little living room on Fleur Drive, singing silly songs and squeezing that chunky toe head again.  Feelings of grief and abundant joy fill all the spaces of my heart when I sit long enough to really soak it all in.  Ten years of raising a child will do that to you.  But, there is more.  And I'm going to trust that these next ten years are going to unveil a whole new chapter of parenting that's going to be filled with much of the same.  Lots of silly, smiles, growth, and awestruck moments where we are filled with gratitude for the gift of Cruz.         

Happy DECADE, sweet boy.  You are kind, silly, smart, and handsome.  You are going to change the world for the good simply by being just who God made you to be.  And it is a joy to be your mom.    

Give me a fire on a beach

I've never really longed to live anywhere but right where we are now.  I firmly believe the Midwest is a hidden treasure when it comes to the beauty, the hard-working and kind people, the changing of seasons, and places to raise a family.  But if I lived on the coast, I'd most definitely dress in long boho dresses, where a hat every day, and end a lot of nights with Beau's guitar and a fire on the beach.  And maybe climb into our little VW van and sleep there to end the night.  

For about as long as we've been together, I've always told Beau I want to have a fire on the beach.  But not just any beach, but a perfectly secluded, beautiful beach surrounded by water (obviously).  He always shakes his head in response, tells me the DNR would frown upon us building a fire on a beach, and the subject goes away until the next time it comes up again.  And then this summer, we happened upon the perfect beach in a little pocket of woods north of town.  It sat higher up from the water, creating these mini sand dunes down to shore, it was surrounded by trees, and seemed perfectly secluded, probably because we really had no idea how we happened upon it in the first place.  We even found a little dead end road we could park our car and carry our kayaks right to the water.  It was the perfect little setting for a fire on the beach.  Until it wasn't!  A month later, Beau and I had a little day date and I couldn't wait to go back to our little discovered treasure.  We drove right to the pin we had dropped on our phone only to discover it took us nowhere.  We tried two other times this summer only to come up dry each time.  I was starting to think it was one of those desert water reflections you see in the movies when you're almost dead of thirst.  A mirage that up and vanished before I even got acquainted with it.  We moved on from our treasure hunt and found us a great little beach area to hang on our friend's property on the river.  But I never forgot that beach...

And then Sunday.  It was the perfect fall day and we had no plans other than to explore the leaves changing in our little town.  I made a big thermos of hot cocoa and we headed out to the woods.  And guess what we found!

THE BEACH.  

And not just the beach, but the remnants of a little beach fire still smoldering from what I'm dreaming was a perfectly boho fall bonfire the night before.  And my pyro-loving husband just couldn't help himself.  He found a tiny piece of newspaper and got that baby going again in no time.  We finished up the wood pile that was still sitting beside the fire, took off our shoes and sank our toes in the warm sand around us, sipped some cocoa, and felt that warm sunshine on our face.  It was the beach fire of my dreams, made even better with the leaves starting to change color all around us, and the crisp autumn air of October filling us to the brim.