The Cruz Man is Three Months!

This month marked lots of new changes for Cruz, as well as for us as a family.  With Cruz's two-month appointment beginning the month, and going back to work at the end of this month, I said hello and waved goodbye to his second month in tears!  Luckily, sandwiched between the tears were lots of happy moments and even more smiles from the Cruz Dude...he's grown from a frail, poker faced little infant, to a smiley, charming little baby boy.  It seems he gets happier every day, which definitely made it harder to go to work.

 
The Cruz Man at THREE Months...

My most favorite milestone this month is definitely the constant smiles.  A month ago, we had to really work to get a smile from our little man; now, he smiles at everything.  When I go to get him out of his crib in the morning, I am greeted by a smile.  When I change his diaper, fill his tub, or suck baby boogers out of his nose, I get smiles.  He loves when sweet voices talk to him and the more excited he gets, the faster his legs kick and the louder his squeals get.  I'm telling you...this child never stops moving his legs!

Another thing that makes Cruz smile A LOT are books.  He's proving to be a part of this family...with a mom as an English teacher, a grandma as a librarian, an uncle with a passion for children's literature, and a dad that reads faster than anyone I know, Cruz has acquired a love of books at a pretty early age.  Every morning, after his breakfast bottle, we will read two or three books to Cruz.  It's adorable.  He sits on our lap so contently, his eyes light up as soon as the pages turn, and he squeals in delight as the narrative is read.  It started with Dr. Seuss and Green Eggs and Ham; however, his love of books has already broadened to the likes of Eric Carle, Sandra Boynton, and Duck and Goose.  

Cruz has made a lot of discoveries this month, especially thanks to Christmas.  He loved the brightly colored packages, the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree, and the sounds of us tearing into his many gifts.  He received a lot of fun light-up sound machine toys, and didn't waste any time showing his excitement and enthusiasm.  His favorite toys include his laptop, music machine, and plastic camera.  If I have the patience to sit and push the buttons over and over AND OVER again, Cruz could sit enthralled for hours.  Usually I wear out before he does!

In addition to his toys, it seems Cruz really became interested in all of his cool baby contraptions.  He finally located the mirror hanging above his head on his farm mat, enjoys taking naps in his swing and lambie chair, and likes the little stuffed turtle hanging from his carseat.

Most of all, Cruz has really seemed to identify our faces, his fist, and even our cat.  He is absolutely fascinated with his fist and will stare at it for long periods of time, as if trying to figure out how he can control it.  It's a big score when he can get his fist in his mouth...this will occupy him for a long time, and the sound effects of the slurping and sucking is great.  We're starting to think he's showing some early signs of teething.  The last couple of nights, he's actually started reaching for our faces, touching our mouths, our noses, and scratching out our eyelids.  Gaining confidence in clipping his fingernails is a milestone I've yet to achieved this month!

Earlier this month, Beau and I poked fun at Cruz for his lack of motivation during tummy time.  Cruz used to be a stud when it came to lifting his head; however, this month, he digressed.  We think his head got too big to lift, so, while he attempted to pick his head up, but settled for digging his face in his blanket and chewing on his fist, we would laugh at him.  Well, he showed us.  He's been a champ at tummy time this week, just in time for his three month pictures.  He had to make sure to impress Darcy, his photographer, with his mad skills.  

Cruz decided to start 2011 off with a bang...On January 1, he slept all night WITHOUT his sleep sack!  I was seriously worried he'd be the only kid in his kindergarten class that needed to be swaddled during naptime!  He's been sleeping through the night so well that Beau nor I have wanted to even mess with a good thing.  Then, Saturday night, without telling me, Beau put him to bed without swaddling him first.  Sunday morning, when I went to check on him, I was shocked to see a sleeping baby with NO swaddle blanket.  My first thought was, 'how the heck did he work his way out of that thing?!'  I haven't been that proud of my baby (or my husband) since he started sleeping through the night at five weeks!  Cruz definitely takes after his mama in the fact that he loves (and needs) his sleep!  I just wonder how long this will last...

I've not only packed all of Cruz's newborn clothes away, but have started the transition from 0-3 sizes to 3-6.  Cruz wore his first 'big boy' clothes this month, which makes him look lots older.  Some nights, we'll hang out in his room and I'll just play with all his clothes.  Every outfit brings me back to the days he wore it...his clothes mark memories and milestones, making it extremely tough to pack them away.  Maybe Cruz will someday have a little brother to wear his hardly-hand-me-downs...  

Another new thing Cruz has recently developed is the 'pouty' face.  When something scares him or catches him off guard, his mouth turns into a perfect frown and he lets out an adorably pathetic cry.  It usually only lasts a second or two, and Beau and I feel bad that it often makes us laugh.  If he does this at day care, however, I might just quit my job!

Overall, Cruz is becoming quite the little charmer.  He loves being part of things, whether it's lying in between us while we watch TV, hanging out in the kitchen while we cook, or shopping at the mall.  He still likes his independent time on a blanket, and has found an interest in watching TV, especially sports.  He was a tropper running here and there for the holidays, and rang in the new year with his Grandma and Grandpa Jorgensen.     

Back at it...

Today, I became a working Mom.  I got up early, tried not to get spit-up on my dress clothes as I fed Cruz a bottle, and snuck in a few books in the middle of doing my hair and brushing my teeth.  I was relieved to leave Cruz in the capable hands of his Grandma Kelly for the day; however, still felt an achy feeling in the pit of my stomach as I drove away from my house this morning. 

Tonight, I am tired, a little groggy, and slightly overwhelmed feeling like the 'new kid' at school again.  But, we made it through day one.



And we're rolling with the punches...

"Whoa, Mom, this standards-based grading system is a little confusing..."

I think we're gonna make it...

:)

My Newsboy

On Friday, Cruz had his three-month photo shoot.  Instead of Darcy, owner of At Play Photo, coming to our house, my mom and I bundled our little bear up and drove a few blocks to her in-home studio.  We had so much fun and Cruz was a trooper.  He's used to the camera! 

When it comes to taking pictures, Darcy is as persistent as I am!  We did lots of sweet talking to Baby Cruz, waited patiently while he had a bottle, and even barreled through a cat nap in order to get some fun shots of Cruz at three months.  I loved her creative, inventive ideas, and especially got into all her cute hats.  After about a three hour shoot, Cruz was wore out and so were we!  It was worth every minute, especially after I saw the sneak peek Darcy posted on her blog later that afternoon.  He sure is a handsome little devil!  I can't wait to see the rest! 

Redefining What's 'Normal'

Well, this is it.  My last official day of maternity leave.  My last day before heading back to work.  Tomorrow morning, my alarm will sound at 5:30 am, reminding me that my mornings of sweat pants and rocking Cruz while Hoda and Kathie Lee plays in the background are over.  Well, at least until Spring Break ;).

I have been so blessed to have been able to stay home with Cruz for 13 weeks.  So blessed to have a supportive husband that knew his control-freak wife needed some much needed downtime to find some control in this new role.  Life has been so good lately that it's hard to imagine it changing.  I am so thankful that my mom and grandma are going to help 'transition' me into daycare this week by coming to stay with Cruz.  I really can't imagine dropping him off at daycare quite yet.  Right now, I'm taking baby steps, and getting myself to work on time is step one. 

At church this morning, Dave Bartlett began a sermon series called 'Redefining Normal.'  It focuses primarily on how to love our families and build homes that create responsible and growing people.  As he talked today about learning to go with the flow when our idea of 'normal' is altered, I think he was talking directly to me.  It still amazes me how sermons can do that.  He talked about hope as a source of energy.  Hope to keep us going when the waters get a little rough.  Hope to gain new perspective when we feel cheated or challenged.  Hope to empower us to work hard and stay positive, whether I'm at school teaching 10th graders how to write an essay, or at home, grading those essays while trying to play with my baby.  

Dave also talked about our weaknesses.  Everyone has weaknesses, times when they lose hope or lose the sense of 'normalcy' in life.  For me, this is the weakness I will soon run into when I'm caught in the middle of the 'weekend web,' and feel pulled in a million directions.  The laundry won't be done, the house will be a mess, and I'll have 35 emails to respond to before Monday.  Groceries will need to be purchased, papers will need to be checked, and a baby will need a bath.  I know I will run into times when I feel weakness at managing life as a mother, a wife, and a teacher.  But, as Dave reminded me today, these are the times when we look beyond ourselves for power.  These are the times when I will remind myself of 2 Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me.  Weakness makes us stronger...stronger in our faith in Christ. 

Finally, when all else fails and our 'weakness' begins to get the best of us, this is when we play.  Dave told the story about reflooring his bathroom, growing frustrated at the fact that home improvement projects never go as easy as planned.  After pulling up more than seven layers of pre-existing tile and wanting to kick the sink in during the process, he noticed his seven-year-old grandson staring at him, absorbing every sign of his growing frustration.  Dave looked at his grandson, threw his Wonder Bar to the floor and said, "Charlie, let's go play."  When life gets frustrating and our emotions get the best of us, this is when we play.  Put the pen down, shut the computer screen, and let go.  Play.  

That's it.  It's about hope, it's about play, and it's about power in Christ.  I'm ready to see my students, ready to reconnect with other teachers, and ready to dive back into the profession I love.  And I'm ready to play hard when I get home, to love that baby up, and to not sweat the small stuff in this little life.  Our normal is indeed about to change, but it's about making our new 'normal' better than before.

This weekend has been filled with lots of play, lots of pictures, and lots of attempts to slow down time.  We played Bobby Darin's 'Splish Splash,' during Cruz's bath.  We let Cruz snuggle and fall asleep in our bed before putting him in his crib.  I 'slept' on the couch with him instead of putting him back in his crib in the morning.  We read lots of books, explored new toys, and had lots of family time.  Beau and I had our first 'date night' since October, and spent it at Sakura, and I took an insane amount of pictures this week.  Pictures of Cruz sitting up, lying down, on his belly, and on his side.  Pictures with monkeys, pictures with puppies, pictures with gators, and pictures with hippos.  One thing that will be able to rest when I head back to work is my memory card! 

Tomorrow is the big day.  Wish us luck for a good night's sleep and a strong cup of coffee in the morning!

Lessons from Green Eggs & Ham

The more you read, the more you'll know.  The more you learn, the more places you'll go.

I am an English teacher and by nature, I read.  I read literature by the greats...Hemingway, Salinger, and Tolstoy, and teach my students to delve in and uncover the layers of their words like a piece of chocolate cake.  I love to read and often long for more hours in a day that I could waste away with a good book.  

Teaching Cruz to love sitting and listening to a book is at the top of my priority tree.  I want him to anticipate the page-turn, to grow excited at the adventures within, and to someday appreciate the crisp feel and wonderful smell of a brand new book.  Books are magical in that way.  They have the ability to take one's mind to faraway places that may or may not exist, to challenge old thinking and shed light on new, to broaden our perspectives and steal our hearts.  I want Cruz to experience the power of books over and over again.  

Everyday, we make it a habit to read to Cruz.  Usually in the mornings, after his breakfast, we'll sit with Cruz on our lap and read two or three of his books.  He listens, gasps and squeals when a page is turned, and stares ever-so-intently as the big pages are turned.  The minute a book is opened, Cruz is all smiles and all eyes on the target.  And Cruz absolutely loves Dr. Seuss.  Especially Green Eggs and Ham.  

I had forgotten how much I loved the clever rhymes of Dr. Seuss.  His silly illustrations, witty alliterations, and wacky characters make him fun to read again and again.  And hidden beneath his off-the-wall stories of Yertains that live in curtains, his stories are full of life lessons I hope to one day instill in Cruz.

Green Eggs & Ham.  It's simple.  You don't know if you are going to like something until you try it yourself.  Trust oneself.  Have an open mind and don't be afraid to try new things.  Whether it's green eggs and ham, a new activity in school, or something that's deemed 'uncool.'  But make sure you think good and hard before deciding whether something's right.  Don't cave too soon and do something because a crazy loon named Sam is telling you to.  Trust your instincts and follow your heart.  After all, 'those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.'    

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.  Not everyone or everything is the same.  It's okay to be different.  Embrace your uniqueness, whether it's eleven fingers, a wump with only one bump, or two feet, four, six, or more!

"Not one of them is like the other.  I don't know why, go ask your mother." 

Horton Hears a Who.  We have so much to learn from Horton.  Help those in need, no matter how small, how insignificant they may seem.  Every one counts in this world of ours, even if at times, something seems impossible.  And the days when it seems that our voice has gone mute, that no one is listening, there may be a Horton just waiting to help.  

In all those years of studying Thoreau, searching for meaning in Faulkner, and playing with the words of Shakespeare, I had aimlessly overlooked the power of Seuss.  He's been my 'chocolate cake' since being home on maternity leave, and I'm sure I'll continue to carry his words with me as I head back to work in the weeks to come.       

I think Cruz already has good taste in books!

Dear Cruz...

Tonight is Sunday and we just spent an hour in my bedroom, lying on the bed, sharing smiles, and playing with your toys.  I'm trying so hard to get you to giggle...I can tell you are so close.  You love the attention and have become quite the charmer...you smile all the time and have the sweetest little voice.  As we empty every toy you have onto the bed, I wonder what your voice will sound like when you are bigger and wonder if there will ever come a time when your smile doesn't make me want to explode with happiness.

I absolutely love nights like tonight.  These are the nights that it's all about.  Nights when I drown out the world around me, and climb into this safe little bubble of pajama pants, warm bed covers, and baby feet.  I get lost in your face and can't take my eyes off you.  You, of course, are oblivious to all, which makes moments like these even sweeter.  It's amazing that such a small, innocent, unknowing thing can bring such life to a person's world.

As I look ahead to my last week of maternity leave, I pray for so many nights like this.  Nights and moments that give me the power to let go and live contentedly in this bubble we have created.  I pray that I can balance life as a mother and teacher, wife and teacher, and that I don't dwell on the minutes I will miss, but make the most of the minutes that I have.  And most of all, I pray that the bond we have formed the past 13 weeks isn't broken by day care.  I pray that this transition is a good one for us as a family, that we get into a routine that only makes us stronger. 

I am so thankful I've had this time at home with you.  You are such a good boy and I am so proud to be your mommy.  Here's to living in a bubble for one more week.  I'm shooting for a giggle, little one, and am running out of ridiculous faces to make it happen.  It's up to you now!

I love you so much...

Mom

2011 is Here

2011 is here.  After three-plus hours, my Christmas decor is stashed away for another year and my living room is clean, cozy, and ready for spring (I know, I'm getting a little ahead of myself).  Taking Christmas down is always a little bittersweet, but every year, I'm pleasantly surprised with how roomy our living room looks without a massive tree in front of the picture window.  Tonight, the three of us are hibernating in the house, piled under blankets, getting ready to start our second movie of the night.  Are You My Mother has been read twice, candles are lit, and popcorn is popping away in the microwave.

2011 is here and we're off to a great start.

Last night was our first official 'night out' since Cruz has been born.  I haven't been too keen on leaving him for too long yet, but thought NYE was a good start.  Grandma and Grandpa Jorgensen came to ring in the new year with our little man, and left us to enjoy a night out in Cedar Falls. 

I took my time getting ready.  Spent extra time on my mascara, tried on three pair of heels, and tucked a fresh tube of lip gloss in my purse.  I sipped a mojito, devoured my favorite raspberry chipotle pasta, and enjoyed lots of adult conversation at Montage before ending the rest of the night at the Voodoo Lounge. 

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss our little man, that I didn't think about calling every hour to see what he was doing, and that I didn't feel extremely old in a bar filled with lots of skinny college girls.  At one point when Kelli and were discussing breast feeding and daycare in the line to the bathroom, I caught one girl staring at me with a look of utter disbelief.  Funny.  I guess you can't disguise motherhood, no matter how cute your dress is ;).

We played darts and took turns trying on Starbuck's sports jacket.  We ordered melon fishbowls, sang along to the DJ, and discussed the length (or lack thereof) of girls' skirts.  At midnight, we made our way to the dance floor, counted away another year, and shared a kiss to mark a new one.  And after we made our way to Pablos, ate some tacos, and made friends with a few strangers, we made our way home to slip a kiss to a baby, sound asleep in his crib.  

I have high hopes for 2011.  I'm not sure what God has in store for us; however, one thing is for sure.  2011 will be a journey and I'm ready for the ride.