Why I'm Giving Up Social Media for Lent | The Spiritual and Practical

"Happy are the people whose strength is in You, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage."

Psalm 84:5

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!  I'm sitting here at a mustard colored table across from my hubby at Cup of Joe, sipping a Sweet Thang Strawberry Chai that tastes exactly like something you should be drinking on Valentine's Day.  Beau agreed to impart his insurance wisdom with five periods of Civics class at Peet Junior High.  I just happened to be there this morning, too, so the two of us decided to use our "planning period" to grab some coffee, sit across from each other and get a little work done.  We have a family date night planned for tonight, and are planning to dig into a date box after the kids go to bed.  We decided to forgo gifts for each other and bought ourselves and fancy new coffee maker.  I'm pretty jacked. :)  

I usually love me some Valentine's Day, but I'd be lying if I said the whole day wasn't taking a backseat to another thing that's been on my mind for awhile now.  Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of the Lenten season, and the first day of my social media fast.  For the next 47 days, I am saying goodbye to Instagram and Facebook.  I have never done a social media fast before, although the idea has always intrigued me.  I've considered doing this before, but have always made excuses as to why I didn't need to take part in this exercise of self-denial and separation.  But things have changed lately, and my mind has shifted away from needing this to actually desiring this break.  I've been going back and forth since the new year when I wrote about freedom as a vision for my year ahead.  It seemed only natural that in order to free up my life in the way I was desiring, I would need to rethink some of the areas of my life that often chain me up or take me away from that free mindset.  

There are practical reasons for why a social media fast will likely be a good thing for my me.  I grab my device all too quickly, in the car, when I'm talking to my kids, or when I could be more focused on my life instead of the lives of others I'm seeing on my screen.  But the season of Lent seems the perfect time to engage in this endeavor as a spiritual fast as well.  Lent is a season in the church calendar that takes us from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.  It's a long season, often a dark season, as we take a long look at the cross and reflect on our own sin that put Jesus there.  I listened to a podcast awhile ago and was struck by the speaker who said, "If we do Lent well, Easter Sunday will truly be the celebration it should be."  And while practicing Lent isn't required, it is an opportunity to slow our pace, draw closer to Jesus, and fast from things we typically delight in as a way to refine our delight in Him instead.

"Overtime, I can feel the monuments of self stack up.  My pride, my independence, my distraction, my sin.  Lent becomes a time when I give God permission to knock those monuments down and reorient my life in a way that fixes my eyes on the cross."

Amanda Bible Williams

The following are ten reasons, both practical and spiritual, I am personally giving up social media for the next several weeks.

The practical side...

1. I need to take a step away to realize how bound to it I really am.  I haven't done without social media for more than a few days here and there and to me, that is a problem.  I want to regain control of its role in my life, set some new limits, and reflect on how life looks different without it.  Oftentimes, I think our society is good at identifying the problems in our lives, but not always so good at realizing that we have control over a lot of them.  This is an area I definitely have control over.

2. I want to focus on my life, who I am and where I'm going, and it's just hard to do that when I'm scrolling through the lives of others.

3. I simply want more time and less distraction in my days.  I want to read books and be creative instead of mindlessly scrolling Instagram.  I am most excited to see just how much more time I gain in my days.  

4. I'm looking forward to filling that time with other things.  I want to nurture the relationships in my life, in the flesh instead of over a screen.  I want to stare at my kids' faces and really listen to their stories.  And I want to invite more people for coffee.  And I want time to just be quiet!

5. It will make personal conversations more interesting.  Isn't it funny how when we actually do run into someone, we often already know what they're going to talk about?  I want to be surprised again, to truly see people and feel like I haven't seen them for awhile!

And the spiritual side...  

6. I want to feel Lent more this year.  I want to draw closer to the sacrifice He made by sacrificing something myself.  As small as it is, I pray every time I think about what I'm giving up, I think about ALL He gave up.

7. I want to depend on Him more deeply.  I tend to be a pretty independent person and need to give some of that up in order to understand my true dependence.  

8.  Jesus fasted for 40 days himself and experienced extreme hunger and temptation.  But through that experience, He also experienced extreme closeness to God and clarity in His mission here on earth.  

9.  I believe we live in a time where we don't like to self-deny ourselves from anything.  The world is at our fingertips, which makes the enemy really happy because it's so easy to use this world to take us away from our eternal one.  

10. I want to anticipate spring in a new way this year.  Not only the green grass and warm sun, but an opportunity for a rebirth and fresh start to what I delight in and depend on.  My hope is that after this season ends, I feel more free, more healthy, and more ready to appreciate and respect the devices that can so easily be abused.  

I love that two (from what I know) of my college girls are also taking part in this journey.  I was reading Erica's blog post about her social media fast and loved this: "I am hoping that by giving up social media, I am able to run with endurance, faith, and patience to my true comfort and savior, rather than one of the flesh.  I am praying that by taking time to be silent, still, and maybe even a little uncomfortable, I am able to learn obedience, honest, truth, and faithfulness."       

So starting today, I am social media free until Easter Sunday.  I'll still be blogging and will share reflections throughout these weeks on what I'm learning and how I'm growing through it all.  By the time I return to the world of Instagram, the snow will be gone and signs of spring will be all around.  There is no such a time as this!

But seriously, no social media.  If you have something super important to tell me or you want to connect, you're going to have to CALL or email!  I love tea and coffee and wine and all make perfect pairings to real, face-to-face connection and conversation. ;)    

Our Winter Getaway

When our plans to take the kids to the Mall of America changed after Mila threw up at our friends' house the morning we planned to go, we had two disappointed kids on our hands.  We weren't sure if she was even sick, but didn't want to take our chances and purchase a day of tickets to ride rides if we were already dealing with upset tummies.  We decided to just head home that morning, and poor Cruz softly cried for half of the three hour drive.  We had been craving a weekend away since the holidays ended, and had planned the ultimate kid weekend to take advantage of our day off for Martin Luther King's birthday.  Because we knew it was so important to them, and us too, Beau and I vowed to make it happen before spring.  But then when we got home and looked over our calendars, our free weekends were few and far between.  Definitely wanting to avoid the Super Bowl frenzy up in Minneapolis, we decided to head back up there just two weeks later, and made Cruz's day when we picked him up Thursday afternoon and shared that he wouldn't be returning to school until Monday.

The icing on the cake, though, was the last minute change of our hotel thanks to our adventurous Daddy.  We had plans to stay at a hotel close to the Mall of America, but the night before, Beau called the new Great Wolf Lodge to check on their pricing and availability.  They happened to have a room at a price that actually beat our other reservation!  So we left early Friday morning to take full advantage of all the fun this indoor water park has to offer!

I'm not a huge indoor water park fan (the only time I prefer to wear a swimsuit is if I'm going to get some sun), but quickly fell in love with all the extra amenities this place had to offer.  The check-in staff greeted us upon arrival with a pair of wolf ears for each of us, we received wristbands that also served as our credit card for the weekend so we didn't have to bother carrying anything along with us, and we had full access to ice cream, cocktails, french fries, and lots of other goodies, wherever, whenever.  The water park area had plenty to do for all ages, including a lazy river, wave pool, large toddler zone, and several slides including a big family one with a light show as we made our way down the tube.

We swam for a few hours, and then us girls decided to change into our cozies and check out what else our lodge had to offer.  We got some ice cream and sat by the big wood fireplace in the lobby, made friendship bracelets and played Bingo, and then met the boys for bowling and pizza.  I loved the atmosphere of everyone being there for the night, most people walking around in either pajamas or swimsuits, completely unaware of the happenings of the world outside our fun zone.  After eating our pizza overlooking the pool area, the boys decided they wanted one last before-bed swim, so Mila and I headed for a pajama party and story time together.  And I had a martini!  It was glorious!  Then we tucked our very tuckered out kids in their bunk beds and turned out the lights!

We woke up early and excited to spend a day at the Mall of America Saturday.  We had no plans to shop, just to soak up our kids and ride rides until we dropped at Nickelodeon Universe.  We hadn't done this since Cruz was just two and realized pretty quickly our kids' ages opened up a whole new world at this place!  At first, Mila was very timid, screaming when we put her in a little kid bumper car where Cruz and her were the only ones on the ride!  The ride operator had to stop midway to get her out.  Beau and I were shaking our heads thinking maybe it wasn't a good idea to get us all unlimited wristbands.  But a couple of hours in, our girl got brave and wanted to do it all.  

It's pretty clear both kids get their fearless spirits at amusement parks from their daddy!  I enjoy rides now, but you couldn't even get me on the Tilt-a-Whirl when I was their age.  But to Cruz, the bigger it is, the more it spins, and the more it goes upside down, the better it is in his book.  He loved it all and we were quite impressed with him as the day went on!  From the water slides to the roller coasters, he was very much in his element!  

The highlight of our day was definitely taking a ride on the new, Fly Over America ride that is very similar to the famous, Soarin' ride from Disney.  Afterwards, we took a break from the rides and split up boys vs. girls so the kids could spend some of their birthday/Christmas money at the Lego and American Girl Store.  They were both in their own little piece of heaven as we gave them ample time to explore and pick something special out.  I followed Mila around for an hour as she touched lots of dolls and finally decided on a sweet Wellie Wisher.  Then we had burgers and milkshakes at Burger, Burger, and went back for more rides as the sun went down and the rides lit up.

As we watched the sweet ways Cruz took care of his little sis on rides, or Mila's face as the little tower of terror dropped for the twelfth time, we were both reminded of how important it is to invest in these little experiences.  They are a break from the normal routine that often distracts us and blinds us to the small little things that make up these days of our family.  When we break away from it all, we just linger in the moments more...their sweet facial expressions and their ways with each other, the silly things they say, and all the feelings that go along with being their mom.  We are quite the crew together and these memories of adventure, whether they be near or far, are so very special.  

And I could have watched them on this car ride forever.  Mila's arms up the entire time, sitting as close as she could to her brother, giggling uncontrollably at every crazy turn as she fell on his side.  And he let her, over and over again.  And when she flung herself a little too far and bumped her head?  He spent the remainder of the ride with his arm around her, consoling her as the ride ended and came to a stop.  

            

5/52

"a portrait of each of my children, once each week, in 2018."

Cruz: It's been two weeks since our weekend getaway and you haven't taken your Great Wolf Lodge wristband off.  A simple reminder of all the fun we had and a reminder to me that experiences like these matter.  

Mila: Taken right after leaving the American Girl Store with your new friend, Willa, in your arms.  It's the ultimate little girl experience and I'm pretty sure you would have stayed all day had I let you.  

January Goal Check | And Some Good Daily Habits

Earlier this month, I wrote my anthem for the year, a large compilation of all the things God's been pressing on my heart, wrapped up in a single word: free.  I want to live more free this year.  I want to run on mission, unhindered by all the things of this world that so often trip me up.  I want to be led by the Spirit, not by my own flesh.  I want to say yes to the door opening practices that make a way for God to do His work on me, and not conform to the idle and busy lifestyle that can so easily become the norm.  And as much as this freedom has to do with my insides, so much of it trickles into the stuff of this world, too - how I care for myself, our family, our time, and this home. 

I just finished reading Emily Ley's A Simplified Life, a pretty coffee table read filled with practical tools to make the things of this life less complicated so you can essentially grab hold of a freer life.  She shares ways to free up your space, closet, mealtimes, schedule, finances, hospitality, technology, self-care, and your faith.  Most of these tips and tools aren't rocket science, but they served as good reminders that we do have control over so many of the small, but important things that can make a big difference in how we spend our lives.  

I used to think that the word free meant a life of wild, unabashed concern for your tomorrows.  I used to think freedom was synonymous with a go-wherever-do-whatever mentality that was sometimes matched with poor decisions because of a general lack of concern for anything but the moment right in front of you.  This was my definition, my motivation to live free at various periods of my life.  And while some of this still might translate, the Bible (of all things) has given me an entirely new definition of freedom, what it means to live free in Christ.  Because He has our tomorrows, we can run free, being light and love for others, wherever He calls us to go.  But I've also learned that a life free in Christ is not without structure, hard work, and discipline.  It's a daily fight to choose to invest in my relationship with God, and put aside the things that have a way of creeping in and taking me towards anything but that relationship.  Most days, it's a struggle; however, like Emily Ley, I've realized there are things I can do to create more space in my life and my heart for what matters the most.  

As I read A Simplified Life this month, I jotted down my own list of daily, practical habits that help me clear my head, free up my space, and create more opportunities to invest in my faith, my family, and my community.  I put together a little list of my daily ABCs, not only as reminders for me of the things that matter, but maybe sparking some ideas for you, too.  

A - ambience matters || even if the house is a wreck, if I clear off the counter and light a good smelling candle, my soul just calms down.  This can also be achieved at night, especially after dinner is cleaned up and put away.  I like to make the bedrooms cozy, turning the beds down and the lamps on, shutting off lots of lights and creating a quiet, cozy space to let go a little

B - be brave || you can't truly live free unless you're willing to be brave.  I always know I'm about to do something brave when I've got all the voices inside telling me otherwise, to quit, be quiet, or give in to what everyone else would do.  Reading the Bible has sure taught me a thing or two of what it means to live free and brave, but I'm also hoping to dig into Annie Downs' Let's All Be Brave, along with her new book, 100 Days to Brave.   

C - count those steps || there is nothing better than fresh air, a good playlist, and a little bit of sweat to make you feel like you're ready to hit the ground running.  

D - date night || a practice I've blogged about before and have truly seen so many positive effects on our marriage.  You don't even have to leave the house!  With a little intention, you can set aside special time to focus on nothing but each other.  Our favorite date night (aside from the date nights we actually get out of the house!) is mixing a fun drink after the kids go to bed, playing a game of cribbage, or planning a fun trip or getaway together.    

E - exercise daily || I'm shooting for 30 minutes a day.  When I can't find or make time for myself, I'll take the kids on a walk or play Just Dance with Cruz on the Wii.  

F - face washed before bed || this is simple, but it makes a world of difference for me.  It literally feels like I have washed the day off and I go to bed feeling lighter, fresher, and freer.  

G - gratitude, every day || one of the most simple, life-giving routines you can gift yourself.  find a pretty (and empty) notebook, keep it somewhere you will see it, and commit to writing three quick notes of blessings and/or gratitude every day.  They are a treasure to look back on and an important reminder that there are always gifts to open.  

H - hot, healthy, and whole || Beau and I started another round of Whole 30 on Sunday and are once again reminded how good it feels to cut the sugar and processed junk and fill our bodies with fresh, clean, and whole foods.  It takes a lot of meal prep to pull this off, BUT, if you commit, the time in the kitchen and especially around the table is an added bonus.  

I - intentional acts of service and kindness || while I'm a person who craves order and thrives with a good list, I'm learning to share space on my list with others.  Having ears to hear and eyes to see those around me, and taking time to show love to others through small, simple acts of kindness and service go a long way.  I am going to try to do something kind and/or special every day, whether it be a thank you note in the mail for someone, a meal for a family going through a rough patch, or a slowed down conversation with someone amidst an otherwise busy day.  

J - joy in the simple || sprinkle these things in throughout the week, even if they have to go on the to-do list, too.  a family game night.  chocolate chip cookies after school.  essential oils diffusing something fresh.  

K - know your door-openers (and closers) || What are the things, people, or places that fill your cup and bring you closer to a life with Christ?  What about the things that do the opposite?  Invest in what fills your cup, even if it's hard, and know when it's okay to dust off those shoes and walk away

L - laundry, one load a day || Laundry is so doable when I commit to doing one load, wash to put away, every day.  And there is just nothing better than a laundry room that isn't full of piles

M - make that bed, every morning || another one of those easy tasks that just makes a world of difference for my attitude in the morning.  

N - nurture life-giving friendships || take the time to invest in these, whether it be a text message or a phone call throughout the day, a get together for coffee, tea, or a margarita after work, or time to invest and dig in to the real, deep parts of each other.  I used to long for these kinds of friendships, and now it's about watering the ones God's given me with time, attention, and thoughtful ways to serve and love on them

O - open up those Bibles || I am officially halfway through the Bible in a year, and this process has been one of the most life-giving undertakings of my life.  I always wanted to be one of those people who knows scripture, knows the story, knows how to ask questions and actually interact with God's word myself, instead of depending on church to do it for me.  And while I'm quite convinced there will never come a day when I don't have something new to learn from God's great redemptive story, it has been so cool to see the bigger picture while at the same time appreciating the details and how they apply to the daily bits of my life  

P - pray in the in-between || this is an area I know I can do better in.  I'm trying to use more of the in-between times during my day - when I'm in the car, when I find myself in bed unable to sleep, after I drop the kids off at school, etc.  Just knowing I can be in constant "talk" with Jesus is pretty incredible, and I want to invite His presence into my days and be more intentional about praying for the people in my life

Q - quiet time || we all thrive when we have a little time to be quiet, especially to combat the rather chaotic times of our days.  Whether it be twenty minutes after school before I prep for dinner, or a long afternoon on a Sunday, building these times in throughout the week not only gives me opportunities to pause, but sets a good precedent at home for the kids 

R - read || last year, I committed to reading 17 books in 2017.  I got pretty close, reading 16 of them, but there were times when I felt overwhelmed by too much reading and it felt like a chore.  I've got a great book list again for this year, but have no expectation regarding a number.   

S - send more snail mail || it's a dying practice, but shouldn't be!  I love receiving this kind of fun, personalized, thoughtful mail amidst the endless junk that fills our box each week.    

T - two house projects a week || decluttering, reorganizing, and finishing up projects is always on my goal list.  Rather than attempting to tackle this all at once, I have created a system that works pretty well for me.  Two management projects a week for an entire year.  More on this next week!  

U - unplug more often || for consistent periods of each day, such as the morning before school and at night from dinner 'til bedtime.  Also toying with a social media fast for Lent.  

V - take those vitamins

W - drink that water || especially with a lemon or cucumber in it!

X - have a heart of xenia (hospitality) || okay, this was a stretch, but I did find that the greek word for hospitality is xenia.  I want to have a home that is open and inviting to whoever comes through my door.  I want to make our guest room a cozy retreat for overnight guests, and commit to more impromptu gatherings around our table this year.  And I want to step out of my comfort zone, extending an invitation to people God may be nudging me to connect with

Y - try yoga || why am I so intimidated by this?! 

Z - zone out and REST || some of this is important, too.  a night of stranger things with Beau.  A Friday night in my basement lair, catching up on This Is Us and yes, even the Bachelor.  Naps on a Sunday afternoon.  And soon, front porch hangs and deck beers in the summertime.  This time is important because it refuels us and reminds us to not take this life too seriously.  

P.S. I completely forgot to post these pictures!  Beau got me a sunflower mini session for my birthday this summer and it was dreamy!  Nicole Harnois did them and she was a joy to work with.     

Good Things || January

It's hard for me to believe we are nearly through this first month of 2018.  It's been a month filled with bitterly cold weather and lots of sickness, and there seems to be a general weariness, struggle, and unrest for a lot people I love.  Because this life is not met without struggle, I'm convinced it is all the more important to guard your heart with gratitude, and to look for the joy in every day.  I'm reading Acts right now and am continually awestruck by the work of Paul and others as they built the early church and brought the gospel to the Gentiles.  In Acts 13, the Jewish leaders had stirred up enough persecution against them that they literally ran them out of town, likely before they killed them.  And how did they respond?  

"But Paul and Barnabas shook the dust off their feet against them and went to Iconium.  And the disciples were filled with joy and the Holy Spirit."  

As death and the darkness of this world literally chased them through the streets, they were still filled with joy and God's spirit.  For a long time, the four of us have played a game at dinnertime where we all take turns sharing our happiest, and crappiest, moments of our days.  This practice has revealed so much over time.  Some days, the happy moments abound and it's hard to come up with crappies to share.  Other days, it's quite the opposite.  But never have we had a day where we can't express the good that exists in the everyday.  And man, these babes of ours?  Like Paul and Barnabas, we have much to learn from their attitudes and outlooks on life.  They're wired to see the good, and to shake off the darkness.  There's a reason Jesus said we are to believe like them.

Our collection of good things from this first month of the new year.  Pulled from pictures and gratitude journals and little slips of papers found in the cup holder of my car, filled with those little moments too sweet to forget.  

641. Winter break memories.  A full day with not a single plan other than to stay in our pajamas and play with all these new toys.  Unless you're Mila, of course, who does not believe in pajamas and would much more prefer cold summer clothes like pink skirts and tank top dresses.     

642. These sweet little girl toys that remind me of my own childhood.  Channeling camper dream vacations through a Calico Critters play set, complete with a candy apple Creuset I'd like on my own stovetop.  

643. Laying in bed talking about the Bible with Beau.  He's had a newfound interest that has led to a He Reads Truth Bible app., late night conversations, text messages throughout the day, and now, a Bible study initiated by him with a few good friends.  He's a smart cookie and I'm learning so much from his insight and funny translation.

644. The way Mila draws little people.  They are adorable and terrifying all at the same time.  Uncle Taylor is convinced she could get a job writing (drawing) for Stranger Things.  We keep sending pictures of her creations to him, just to make sure he's still thinking about them. ;)

645. New Pinhole Press puzzles from our trip to California.  Beau and Cruz's sketchbook creations as they bring "Wilbur" back from Beau's childhood.   

646. New cookbooks to thumb through, and Hy-Vee Aisles Online, ordered and delivered on a Saturday morning.  

647. A new year and old routines, renewed.  Our twenty minute family pickup after dinner, where everything gets put into a laundry basket and we all pitch in to put it where it belongs.

648. And a new year budget that leads to decisions like pancakes for supper instead of Pablos.  

649. Our new favorite family pastime - Just Dance on the Wii.  Great music, a great cardio workout, and a little healthy competition.  Unless Daddy and I are dancing each other. ;)

650. Reading Miss Lina's Ballerinas before bed.  Or her most recent favorite, Princess Fairy Ballerina.  Or my favorite, those rare nights when she actually falls asleep when I sing to her.  

651. The confidence that exudes from her when I give her space to be just who she wants to be.  Even when that includes sleeveless dresses when it's ten below and blanket capes safety pinned securely around her neck.  

652. Voxer conversation throughout the day with Kate and Jess.    

653. Cruz telling us all about Little Stevie Wonder at dinner, which led to a full on dance party of both Stevie and Ray Charles while we did dishes together.  

654. Sweet daycare teachers who love on our kids.  Sweet Winnie and the impact she's having on these little souls as she teaches them about Africa and a world much bigger than they can fathom.  Payton and her sweet friendship with Mila.  Emily and fantastic French braids, and Daniel and Tre and Mila's affection toward them.

655. Taking advantage of the sweet slime kits Aunt Kate gave the kids for Christmas.  One turned out great, one had a little too much glitter.... :) 

656. A simple birthday celebration for our girl, complete with a new Welly Wishers doll that hasn't left Mila's side since she opened her!

657.  Making lemonade out of sour lemons.  When our plans to spend the day at the Mall of America were disrupted when Mila threw up at our friends' house, we spent our MLK Day at home instead.  We made the most of it with bead creations and cooking baking, videos from Dirty Dancing, and an afternoon of Kiwi Crate spy kits.  I sure love these simple days at home with my friends.   

658. His love of reading.  And spelling.  And math.  And his teacher!  I love the way they banter back and forth.  Last weekend, she kept telling him she had to get home to pack for our Mall of America weekend.  She told him she couldn't wait to go and ride rides with him.  Finally, he went up and whispered in her ear, "Are you REALLY coming to the Mall of America with us?!"  And she wrote me an email to share this whole story.  He's eating up this first grade thing and it makes his mama's heart dance.

659. My new favorite place to curl up and catch up on This Is Us.  My own little cocoon on the downstairs couch.  

660. A rare lazy Sunday afternoon, watching football and eating impromptu tailgate food.

661. Finding these kids, bellied up to the bar, eating football and choosing between the Patriots and the Jaguars.  

662. When she sneaks my perfume and asks to put chapstick on my lips.  

663. Last Saturday and it's fifty degree January glory.  Fresh air, clean pantries, and pruned plants.  Seed packet deliveries from Floret Farms and the promise of green grass and warm sunshine ahead.

664. The return of life group.  Candles lit and music on as girls file in and make themselves at home.  They chase our kids around the house, pray for our family, and say yes to a book study of Dance Stand Run.  It's gonna be good.

What's on your happy list today?  I encourage you to stop what you're doing and write down five gifts from today.  And then, write five more from tomorrow!

"...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is."

-Ann Voscamp