IF:Lead 2017

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.  For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.  So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner.  Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.  He has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace."

2 Timothy 1:6-10

Last night's IF:Table questions invited us to talk about bravery.  In the introduction to this month's topic, author Annie Downs writes about bravery not as something that requires a brand new life, but a good hard look at the life we're living and how we might be more brave in it.  She writes, "You being brave in the life you already have will absolutely change the circumstances around you - at work, at home, in your church and in your city. But it will also change you. As the days tick by, you will slowly watch yourself shift, change, and grow. You will feel braver, because you are. You will see Jesus more clearly, because you are looking. And your story will change and the road may turn and you will be ready, because you are brave."

  
I get what it means to feel brave.  I can recall moments of bravery in my growing up years, small moments like that first leap off the diving board or stepping up to the microphone for my first (and only) solo in high school choir.  I remember feeling brave during other, more instrumental moments of my life - a commencement address after a tough senior year, my first teaching interview after graduation, and walking into that hospital room ready to become a mom for the first time.  But for all the moments I can recall being brave in my life, I can think of just as many moments when I lacked it.  Moments when I chose the easy way out for one reason or another, or moments when instead of saying what was on my heart, I chose to conform, follow, or please someone else.  I'm a pleaser, often an avoider, and prefer comfortable, calm waters where I don't have to rock the boat too much.  Sometimes safe, sometimes smart, but oftentimes not very brave.  

The last two years, however, God has been working on me and teaching me a new kind of bravery, an unabandoned, on fire, desire to know Him more, live for Him, and share Him with others.  I finally understand the Holy Spirit as something that God has imputed to me, the fruit of what Jesus did on the cross for us, and it is living and breathing inside of me.  This spirit, as Paul says in 2 Timothy, isn't a spirit of weakness and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.  And this spirit makes us brave.  This spirit doesn't jam us up or chain us down, but gives us wings and sets us free.  Free to break away from what's holding us back in this world, in our own sin, and live on a great big purpose that God has carefully crafted for each of us. 

As I've pursued God in new ways the last couple of years, He's transformed my life in many ways.  He's opened up doors for me.  He's connected me with people in similar places who pour their own gifts into me.  He's put people in front of me that I can love and serve. He's unlocked in me a deep desire to know His word.  He's revealed an incredible purpose within my current place.  And most recently, He connected me with a group of women called to invest in a little ministry called IF that has been instrumental in this whole thing.

A couple of weeks ago, I was blessed to attend the IF:Lead Conference in Dallas with six girls from our community all on a mission to continue to bring the IF ministry to our Cedar Valley.  I knew one of them well, the others not so much, but by the end of the weekend I felt as though I had gained six sisters.  In a big ole van with snacks and tunes and old VHS tapes, we drove twelve hours down to Dallas to worship with 1300 women across the country.  We were absolutely thought of, taken care of, and poured into by Jennie Allen, Jo Saxton, Jill Briscoe, and Ann Voscamp (to name a few), and our hearts were changed.  The conference teaching centered on the words of Paul in his letter to Timothy.  Paul, who had been transformed by God perhaps more than any other person in the Bible, wrote his letter to Timothy from prison, knowing it would likely be his last letter before his death.  And what did he write about it?  He wrote about being brave.

"You then, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.  Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier...For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for Him."  

IF:Lead taught me a thing or two about being brave.  I learned about bravery through the mighty Jill Briscoe telling us to "do it afraid."  She said, "I wouldn't have done anything if I'd have waited to not be afraid."  I learned about bravery through Jennie Allen reminding me that being led by God is hard, and that discipling others is even harder.  That although we've all been given this flame, it is so easily suffocated by the world and all that's in it.  I learned about bravery through Sonya, an eighty year old woman from Ottumwa with a heart for fanning the flames of my generation of women, a generation pulled in so many directions that take us anywhere but towards Christ.  I learned about bravery through the faces of two women, both deaf, who traveled from Council Bluffs to learn about IF in hopes of planting an IF:Gathering for the deaf in Iowa.  I will never forget speaking with these women through an interpreter, and watching them pray in sign language to Katie, their eyes closed and tears streaming down their faces.  I watched these women worship and pray in their beautiful language all weekend long, and praised a God who will go to the ends of the earth for His beloved.  

And as much as I learned and took away from all the inspiring speakers at IF:Lead 2017, I took away even more from the women I traveled with.  We prayed with each other in a Texas diner over pancakes and lemon meringue pie, fanned flames over Taylor Swift lyrics and Jennie's bus driver accent, and fell more in love with God, each other, and the people in our lives.

The last speaker of the conference was Priscilla Shirer.  She used the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with five loaves and a few fish to teach us about the "multitudes" we confront as followers of Jesus, and ways we can approach them with bravery and confidence.  She took a closer look at the disciples in this story, illustrating that oftentimes being brave means doing things you don't want to do.  When the big crowd showed up, the disciples' first response to Jesus was this: “Send them away” (Luke 9:12).  They were tired, burnt out, and unsure of how to go about helping this huge crowd in need, so they desired an easy way out of comfort.  And what did Jesus say to them?  "You give them something to eat."  Then he took their not-enough - their gifts, ideas, or in this case, their food, and He used it to feed His people.  They surrendered their meager treasure to God, and He took it, blessed it, and gave it back to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people.  And the people were satisfied. 

Shirer said, "The multitude, whatever it is in your life, is the gift from God.  Because without the multitude, nothing is required of us."  All God asks is that we bring our little bit to him, and He will turn it into an abundance.  But that ask, to step up to the throne with the little we have, all broken and full of sin, asking for God to take it and help us use it in a world that often doesn't seem to want it, that's the first step in a race toward a brave, new life.