"For the Israelites must live many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar, and without ephod or household idols. Afterward, the people of Israel will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They will come with awe to the Lord and to his goodness in the last days."
Hosea 3:4-5
Today is March 1. The majority of winter is passed us and the fifty degree temperatures this week have melted most of the snow and left the anticipation of all things spring in its place. I have had a spring in my step all week long and live in full anticipation of what's to come. But before we can get to the beauty of spring, we've got to deal with some mud first. The air feels fresh and warm but the earth just looks dirty these days. The snow that remains is black from car exhaust, the ground is brown and lifeless, and it seems everything is covered in a layer of muck. I went for a run yesterday afternoon and didn't quite time my steps right, finding myself on the other side of the neighborhood when I should have been out the door to pick up the kids. I cut through the neighbor's backyard and realized pretty quickly that was a big mistake. My feet sank in the sloshy mess and my shoes would never be the same. Later, the neighbors were over and everyone was on the trampoline. I had the door cracked open a little to hear their overjoyed delight as I cooked dinner, but soon heard what could only be an anguished Mila screaming from below. I bent my head over the back deck railing and saw her sinking in the same muddy ground I had previously encountered, only she was in her socks. She had taken off her shoes to jump on the trampoline, and didn't quite know how to get back in them when she climbed down! I told her there was no going back, and tried not to laugh as I watched her pathetic self crying and trudging through the wet ground to meet me on dry land. My shoes may have survived, but the socks surely did not.
I've always been a seasons girl, but have always felt a little uninspired by these months before spring. They're not pretty and they don't offer much to celebrate. But as God says in Ecclesiastes 3, there is a season for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven, and perhaps this season is more important than it often gets credit for. This year, I've been digging into the idea of freedom, what it means to truly live free in Christ and in turn, free from the flesh that often tries to pull me away from who God calls me to be. In this search of a freer way of living for God instead of for the world, it seemed only fitting to take an extended vacation from social media, a place that often shines a big bright flashlight on the world and how it affects me. It was a big step, more than I care to admit. But I was ready. Ready to sink into the season of Lent. Ready to confront the dark places in order to truly understand the light. Ready to fast from something of this world as a way to find more God in its place. Ready to truly celebrate spring and Easter and the rebirth that God invites us all to be a part of. In order to truly step into the celebration of the resurrection, I had to confront my flesh. I wanted to do something uncomfortable, to sink my socks in the mud, and to crave God's way in return. And by doing so, I would come to understand the extent of what Jesus did for us. He stepped right into the mud, sank deep into the sludge of our dirty, dark world, and he wiped it clean. And not only that, but he grew something in its place. He filled the dark places with light, and grew beautiful fruit from the rich soil that remained. In order to see the fruit of his labor, I needed to prune some dead space. And the last two weeks have been more revealing, and more beautiful than I could have even imagined them to be.
It sounds a little extreme, but my social media fast has been one of the most eye-opening experiments of my recent life. I've learned a whole lot about myself, learned the extent of how truly consuming social media can be from both a time and a heart standpoint, and have walked away with clearer eyes of what exists around us when we take the time to direct our eyes beyond our screens. But most importantly, cutting the strings to my social media existence has given me the reassurance that it was perhaps not as important as I chalked it up to be. I truly thought I would struggle more than I have. I thought I may feel less inspired, less creative, less connected, and even less purposeful. I had come to believe that a piece of my identify was wrapped up into my social media life, and that when I walked away I would lose a part of myself. I'm amazed by how much I don't miss it, and how free life feels without it. And most of all, just like those Israelites, when I take away the idols that tempt me to get caught up in this world, God is always ready to pour his goodness into us on the other side.
Rather than giving an exhaustive account of what this process has meant for me, I've been keeping a daily journal and wanted to include a few bits from it to show a little of what God's been doing through this fast. It's been rewarding to share this with others and I've found so many people are interested or desiring a similar step away from all things social media. It's a good life, I promise!
Day 3 (Friday): It's Friday afternoon and I'm encountering a little F.O.M.O (Fear of Missing Out). I was just grooving along with my Friday afternoon and all of a sudden it hit me: 'I wonder what everyone else is up to?' I realized I often measure my own weekend (plans or lack thereof) according to everyone else's weekend. Hello, sinful desire. Instead of scrolling through Facebook, I went to God in prayer, recognizing my sin and asking him to turn it into strength. And what do you know, I got on with my weekend and didn't think twice about how it measured up to everybody else's.
From She Reads Truth: "Fasting hurts. It's tangible and practical repentance and repentance must change how we live our lives. We turn from things that give us false comfort, and only have God."
Day 4 (Saturday): So much accomplished today! Beau and I both stated at different times how slow the day is going. I think it's because I'm not spending all those quiet space moments hopping on social media to enter into someone else's space...
Day 5 (Sunday): I sat behind a friend's mom at church today and she casually mentioned what they had going on this weekend. I finished the conversation and told Beau it was so refreshing to be surprised by something! So this is what it used to be like...
Day 6 (Monday): I started an audio-book in the car today, The Life Giving Table by Sally Clarkson. It has reinvigorated my joy for the simple things, like preparing a meal for my family. The act of cooking is a reflection of God's bounty. Cooking and preparing food to serve around my table is one of my favorite ways to show love.
Day 7 (Tuesday): When I'm weary, I still go to my phone. I didn't check social media, but I did find myself refreshing my email inbox, checking the weather, or simply picking it up to light up the screen numerous times today. It is always there, always tempting us, and often taking us away from something we should otherwise be taking to God.
Day 8 (Wednesday): Coffee date with Erica. She is on a social media fast, too. It was such a joy to sit face to face, sip some green tea, and have a clear table without that added distraction. People take on a whole new shape when you're really giving them your time.
Day 9 (Thursday): Less input means a whole lot more 'heartput.' What a big week of stretching, growing, and transforming from the inside out. Walked through some tough stuff this week, but it was refreshing to process it all through my own heart, my relationship with God and his good word, and the rock solid community he's put in place for me. Oftentimes, we go to the wrong places to help us "heal" or throw a big cover over the tough stuff.
Day 10 (Friday): In Des Moines on the interstate and it's been disturbing to see so many people looking down at their phones. Not only passengers quietly scrolling and missing opportunities for connection, but so many drivers! I told Beau I felt scared for my life sharing a road with them!
Just a snapshot of a few things that have surfaced the last couple of weeks. And while I've taken far fewer pictures lately, I have been catching a few moments on the camera. Life's been just as sweet, if not sweeter, but I haven't felt the need to capture it all. There have been a few moments where I've caught myself thinking, "oh this would make for a great Instagram post," and then thought deeply about my motivation behind posting it. And then to not post that particular moment, and instead soak in it and tuck it away for just me or just our family has been so sweet. And eye-opening, to say the least.
Easter Sunday is coming and there is much in store. The ground will dry, the sun will shine, and I'll plant some seeds. And I'm sure I'll return to social media, but hopeful I'll be a much healthier, much heartier version of myself. Tethered to a good good Father who's got lots of pruning and lots of harvesting in store.
A few of our sweet, simple, unedited pictures as of late...
Snow days and kiwi crates and single braids and board games. Shuffling kids from Dad's office to my office, daughters of colleagues entertaining Cruz and Mila in the lobby with origami paper airplanes. Wall ball and chair rides from Uncle Phil, and youtube videos with Erica. It takes a village and we've sure got a good one.
I caught them like this before bed.
That's a proud first grader there! I hope he always loves to learn and sing and dance to his own sweet beat.
And one more birthday shout-out to Grandma. We love you (and birthday cake!).
Day 5 (Sunday): I sat behind a friend's mom at church today and she casually mentioned what they had going on this weekend. I finished the conversation and told Beau it was so refreshing to be surprised by something! So this is what it used to be like...
Day 6 (Monday): I started an audio-book in the car today, The Life Giving Table by Sally Clarkson. It has reinvigorated my joy for the simple things, like preparing a meal for my family. The act of cooking is a reflection of God's bounty. Cooking and preparing food to serve around my table is one of my favorite ways to show love.
Day 7 (Tuesday): When I'm weary, I still go to my phone. I didn't check social media, but I did find myself refreshing my email inbox, checking the weather, or simply picking it up to light up the screen numerous times today. It is always there, always tempting us, and often taking us away from something we should otherwise be taking to God.
Day 8 (Wednesday): Coffee date with Erica. She is on a social media fast, too. It was such a joy to sit face to face, sip some green tea, and have a clear table without that added distraction. People take on a whole new shape when you're really giving them your time.
Day 9 (Thursday): Less input means a whole lot more 'heartput.' What a big week of stretching, growing, and transforming from the inside out. Walked through some tough stuff this week, but it was refreshing to process it all through my own heart, my relationship with God and his good word, and the rock solid community he's put in place for me. Oftentimes, we go to the wrong places to help us "heal" or throw a big cover over the tough stuff.
Day 10 (Friday): In Des Moines on the interstate and it's been disturbing to see so many people looking down at their phones. Not only passengers quietly scrolling and missing opportunities for connection, but so many drivers! I told Beau I felt scared for my life sharing a road with them!
Just a snapshot of a few things that have surfaced the last couple of weeks. And while I've taken far fewer pictures lately, I have been catching a few moments on the camera. Life's been just as sweet, if not sweeter, but I haven't felt the need to capture it all. There have been a few moments where I've caught myself thinking, "oh this would make for a great Instagram post," and then thought deeply about my motivation behind posting it. And then to not post that particular moment, and instead soak in it and tuck it away for just me or just our family has been so sweet. And eye-opening, to say the least.
Easter Sunday is coming and there is much in store. The ground will dry, the sun will shine, and I'll plant some seeds. And I'm sure I'll return to social media, but hopeful I'll be a much healthier, much heartier version of myself. Tethered to a good good Father who's got lots of pruning and lots of harvesting in store.
A few of our sweet, simple, unedited pictures as of late...
Snow days and kiwi crates and single braids and board games. Shuffling kids from Dad's office to my office, daughters of colleagues entertaining Cruz and Mila in the lobby with origami paper airplanes. Wall ball and chair rides from Uncle Phil, and youtube videos with Erica. It takes a village and we've sure got a good one.
I caught them like this before bed.
That's a proud first grader there! I hope he always loves to learn and sing and dance to his own sweet beat.
And one more birthday shout-out to Grandma. We love you (and birthday cake!).
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