Rhythms of Renewal | RESTORE

The second rhythm of renewal in Rebekah Lyons' book, Rhythms of Renewal, is that of Restore.  She describes the importance of restoration for our bodies, minds, and souls, especially in a world that never stops moving: "God did not create us to participate in the world's wear-down cycle, the culture of constant consumption that leads to so much unrest.  Instead, he made us to engage in regular rhythms of physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual restoration, rhythms that pull us out of the world's churning and fill us with life."

I know what it feels like to live in a pressure cooker.  There have been times in my life when I feel the weight of expectation, of busy, of keeping up with the "way everyone's doing it."  But I've also felt what it feels like to be on the other side of this pressure cooker - to feel the purpose and freedom in knowing what my lane looks like and staying in it with confidence and joy.  It's staying in our lane and taking care of our bodies that best help me feel restored.

So thanks to Rebekah Lyons' book, a lot of time to process the things that seem to stand out the most to me, and four gals I admire a lot, here are my goals to feel more R E S T O R E D.

1. Be SPONTANEOUS: This is not very easy for a planner like me.  But man, some of my favorite days, nights, and experiences are the ones that were thrown together on a whim.  I need to do a better job of following Beau's lead with this because he is the KING of spontaneous.  Or at least he was until I gradually sucked it out of him. ;)  The spontaneous memories - like our thrown together Father's Day mojito contest and wiffle ball tournament at the Pattersons, a late decision drive in a snowstorm to crash the Shaws' pizza party one night, Beau's very first vision for Jorgensen Top Chef, or our whiskey by a fire afternoon adventure with the Guess clan to make the most of a fluke late-March snow.  I am committing to saying more yeses when it comes to spontaneous, inspired by Rebekah's simple point that true "play and control cannot co-exist."       

2. WALK walk walk it out: It's simple but so true.  There are few things in life that have the power to both clear my mind and quiet my soul more than a good walk and some much needed fresh air.  I wear my fitbit every day, but want to do better about getting to my 10,000 steps every day.  There are days when I hit them easy and those are always the days I feel more restored by the end of them.  I loved reading about Google incorporating "walking meetings" into their workday and loved even more when a friend suggested I try offering campus walks with my students to debrief with them about their lessons.  I get the opportunity to work on such a beautiful campus and my job involves getting to be a part of some pretty high-stress, nerve-wracking experiences for my students.  How amazing would it be to share my thoughts on their teaching experiences while we took a stroll around campus?!  Looking forward to testing this out come spring just as those crab trees start to bloom.      

3. ADVENTURE well: "Gregory Berns writes in his book Iconoclast: "To see things differently than other people, the most effective solution is to bombard the brain with things it has never encountered before.  Novelty releases the perceptual process from the shackles of past experience and forces the brain to make new judgments." I love this picture of our brains being bombarded with new experiences.  I think this is why I love to travel, but am also inspired to apply this same idea right outside our door.  Visiting a museum, trying a new ethnic recipe, taking a class outside my comfort zone, or putting myself in places that I'm not used to being are all ways I might grow and stretch into a more adventurous version of myself.    

4. Keep cycling: I used to despise all forms of cardio or organized exercise; then a little cycling studio called Joywheel came to town.  I love it all - the lights, the music, the kind and motivating instructors, my cute little gray cycling shoes, and most of all, how strong and unbelievably good I feel when I'm done burning calories and sweating a whole lot.  I signed up for a challenge to ride 2,020 miles this year and it's a lofty but realistic goal if I stay consistent and push myself.  And just in time for a little RAGBRAI action to make a stop through Waterloo in a few months!  

An (Extra)Ordinary February

"Every day God invites us on the same kind of adventure.  It's not a trip where He sends us a rigid itinerary.  He simply invites us.  God asks what it is He's made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made.  And then, leaning over us, He whispers, "Let's go do that together."

Bob Goff

I feel it about this time every year, a February funk that settles in and leaves me feeling a little lost, a little unsatisfied, and very much longing for a little spring in my step and out my window.  It settled in this weekend and no matter how much I tried to work my way out it, it just lingered.  Typically, I can sort of "plan" my way out of it - I do something that makes me feel productive like clean a closet, I do something creative with the kids like a Jorgensen Top Chef night, I do some kind of self-care like take a bath or paint my toes, or when all else fails, I wander aimlessly around Target filling my cart with random things I absolutely don't need.  We've all been there!

But now, thanks to a healthy dose of self-discovery from tools like the enneagram, a few trusted souls I can air it all out to, and a few good years of spiritual muscle building in God's word, I can see it for what it is and better yet, know how to climb out of it.  One of the realest things I learned from a fellow three enneagram on a podcast recently was that we 3s feel only as good as we do.  And when we do do something, it's really only good enough when it's a little (extra)ordinary.  Ordinary, mundane, and directionless are hard.  And they are great breeding ground for a good February funk.

But what I'm also learning is that those days, weeks, and seasons are also invitations to truly practice what it means to rest.  To not always have to do, or experience, or strive, or check off the next thing, but to sit just long enough for God to invite you into something entirely new.  Something you wouldn't have had the eyes to see if you were too busy taking over yourself.  It's all a balance, knowing when to do and when to stop, but I've found sometimes those in between spaces that feel a little funky are the perfect invitations to be still and let a little extraordinary magic show up in the all sorts of surprise places along the way.  

Since this weekend, I've been learning to sit in the rest of February well.  To take it slow, rest well, do good with whatever it is I find right in front of me, and note all the simple, sweet blessings along the way.  And there have been so many things this week!

...like the big red cardboard heart the kids pulled out from their secret hiding place last Sunday night.  Every February leading up to Valentine's Day, I write Beau, Cruz, and Mila daily love notes on little paper hearts and tape them up around the house.  Little did I know, they were devising their own heart to surprise me with for Valentine's Day.  And aside from the sweet gesture of it all, the hearts they filled out were so special to me.  I love that Cruz wrote, I love when you show me how to do something step-by-step instead of rushing me, and I love how you are funny and can make me laugh even when I'm hurt - because I knew the exact times he was referring to.  At the end of the day, they see and they know how much we love them and that is good enough for me.  

...Mila's adorable "how to" books she brought home from kindergarten, each with a dedication page written on the inside cover.  One was dedicated to me and the other to her "cosit Harper."  Their cousin love is big.  

...expected magic, like yesterday morning when Cruz groggily came out of his room just as Beau and I were making breakfast together.  And just like that, Beau asked Cruz if he'd ever seen us juggle.  Without a second to think, Beau started tossing cuties to me from across the room, one after another after another, until we were all in hysterics and cuties were flying everywhere.  And last night at dinner, Cruz said it was his favorite part of his whole day!

...Cruz and I have been taking full advantage of this lingering winter by covering a lot of ground in Harry Potter.  We're nearing the end of Book 3 and I can't wait for another movie night.  

...Dance and karaoke parties after Mila opened up her Valentine gift.  Pretty sure all four of us have fought over this thing every night since!  

...Speaking of Mila, she sure brought a lot of light to our college life group dinner last night.  Yesterday, when I picked her and Cruz up from daycare after school, she was busy at work creating little notes of affirmation for our group of college girls.  She thought of all the little sayings herself, one of her teachers helped write them, and then at home, she carefully sprinkled them around the house in places they would find them - the bathroom mirror, a paper plate, the front door, or the seat of their chair.  If they found two, they could give one to a friend.  It was so sweet - their smiles, the way they'd tape them to their phone case or on the inside cover of their planners - and I couldn't help but feel like those little notes might just mean a whole lot to them.  But my favorite part of the night - after the girls went home, the kitchen was cleaned up, and I finally got to bed, that girl of mine had ever so sneakily taped a note to my pillow, too.  

So my cure for a February funk?  Sit in it long enough to let some otherwise ordinary turn into something pretty extraordinary.  And when all else fails - there's always Target.      

Good Things, Winter 2020

A few pictures from our winter, followed by a lot more good things from my journal...

876. A rhythm of one load of laundry a day, washed, dried, and put away before I leave for work

877. Mila's long drawn out goodbyes in the school pick up line, and the smile I always have as I pull away

878. When I picked up Cruz from school the other day and asked how his day was and he replied, "Amazing!  I found out my coat has another layer!"  It's all about the little things! 

879. Beau Googling "Questions to ask your kids" and randomly hearing him engage in conversation with them.  The other night he asked Mila, "How does it feel when I give you a hug?"  Her reply: "Like everything is happy and everything is going to be okay."

880. A completely organized pantry, followed by a gigantic Sam's Club run to stock fresh spaces with essentials.

881. Brunch after church with friends - Verve pancakes and kombucha mimosas with the Shaws, breakfast burritos at Cottonwood Canyon with the Gabels.

882. Starting the morning with pancakes, a little chocolate syrup because we were out of maple, and Lizzo real loud before school.  

883. A pretty green dress I haven't worn in two years, all thanks to my 365-wardrobe challenge.  Sweet friends who respond with emphatic "Keep!" 

884. Cooking with Cruz after piano.  Watching him dry dishes and sing Post Malone to his heart's content  

885. Good movies lately - Troop Zero, A Marriage Story, the new Taylor Swift documentary

886. Cruz up early shoveling snow off the deck because he's "broke" and needs to earn some money.  His sweet little grin and reassuring wave every time he'd catch me checking on him.

887. Mila sticking all the stickers on her face in the doctor's office.  As we rode the elevator full of people, I shared that she had a bad case of "sticker-itis."  I scored a few laughs.

888. Meeting Kate in Toledo, Iowa for Mexican.  

889. Cruz finding a picture from a past Chat Book of us sitting at the bar watching a football game and saying, "I want to do THIS for the Super Bowl!"

890. A brisk 3.5 mile walk with Angie on a Sunday afternoon.  The fresh air felt so good!

891. Juana's cute post-it note she left for the kids one morning, "Cruz and Mila, thank you for making your beds!"

892. Mila's prayer for her friend, Elsie, before bed.  Afterwards, I asked her what was wrong with Elsie and with big eyes she said, "She has a really big ear CONfection!

893. Becky, the kindest stranger in the parking lot of Target who found my missing wallet, Googled my name, and called UNI to track me down.  

894. Creating with my hands - from wet on wet watercolor technique to a big bunch of green parsley in a pot of homemade chicken broth

895. Mila had a bad dream the other night and wanted to sleep with us.  She cried when she tried to fall back asleep because she kept remembering the dream.  Beau said, "just snuggle in close and every time you dream, put me in it.  I will keep you safe."  

896. All the enneagram knowledge and conversation and a sweet letter in my inbox from Beau

897. Heart shaped cookies baked, heart shaped cookies shared.

898. Midweek trips to the library and Mila's newfound love of all things Elephant and Piggie

899. Ina Garten's short ribs and bleu cheese grits

890. The snow that stuck to trees and fell like glitter on this chilly but beautiful Monday morning   

  

Creating a Posture for Rest

I’m nearly finished with Rebekah Lyon’s newest book, Rhythms of Renewal, a book that has been a simple read but practical tool to inspire me as I start a new year and brand new decade.  By this time in February, studies show that most people have abandoned all those New Year’s resolutions, are trudging through the lull of a long winter and already out of that fresh, hopeful attitude they may have seized as the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve.  Rebekah’s book introduces the idea that instead of setting these lofty resolutions, a healthier approach is to develop rhythms in our days that can replace the stress and anxiety with life-giving peace and purpose.  She organizes the book into four main rhythms – Rest, Restore, Connect, and Create – and provides seven practical ways to introduce or rethink these rhythms into your daily life.

This week I’ve been focusing a lot on the first rhythm of REST.  I love that although she does write about practical ways to sleep better, her focus is more about creating a posture of rest that permeates in all we do.  In other words, you can’t run forty-five miles an hour through your day, balance loads of stress from the time you wake up until the time you final fall into bed, and expect to feel rested.  But if we’re intentional about “resting” through various practices in our days, limiting time on our phones (especially at night), creating some intention in our morning and nightly routines, and considering a Sabbath that’s set apart a little different than the usual pace of our days, God will bless it.  After all, it was God who created rest and honored the importance of it from the very chapter of his Word.

“From the beginning, God designed his creation to be more abundant, fulfilled, and joyful when we work from a place of rest and renewal.”

Obviously, rest looks different for every person, situation, and season of life.  I’ve been taking inventory the past couple weeks to determine the areas that I feel good about in terms of rest and rhythm, as well as the areas that could use a little work.  After reading this section, I outlined five areas of focus to find better REST:

1. Nightly rhythms:  While I’ve seemed to settle into a morning routine that feels doable and rewarding, our nightly routine could definitely use some work.  So I did the work!  I created new chore charts for the kids and had a family meeting to lay out a sort of night rhythm we can all work through together.  Ideally, this seems to be a great flow for our family:

4:00-5:00: Unpack/repack bags, reading/quiet time, homework
5:00-7:00: Dinner prep, family dinner together, and free time (not necessarily in that order depending on our night and activities
7:00-7:30: Quick family power pick up around the house – make this an experience with music and a little dance party
7:30-8:00: Something intentional as a family – a board game, a game of darts, a round of Mario Kart, etc.
8:00-8:30: Kids bedtime routine and books
8:30-9:00: My bedtime routine – wash face, make a cup of tea, grateful journal, get clothes ready for the morning
9:00-10:00: Read, Journal, hang out with Beau

This schedule will change as summer rolls around, but it’s proving to be a great way to function together at home in these longer winter months.  So often, it’s easy to let little things go – just the simple task of kids unpacking and then repacking bags as soon as we get home has alleviated stress before bed and especially before bed.  Similarly, when we commit to doing things together, like a family power pickup, we’re not only making progress but spending quality time together as a family 

2. Saying yes to Sabbath: Oh man, this is a hard one!  But when we set aside our Sundays as days to not do a million things but to simply rest, spend time enjoying the season, our people, and all the beauty of God’s world, God actually blesses it and refuels us in ways that meal prepping just won’t do!  I have found this time and time again – we need to give up our control and let God do what He actually intended to do when he created us and this world on purpose!  I love setting apart Sundays to look a little different – to get up, go to church together, say yes a long brunch with friends, take a nap, read a book, and soon, spend time outside, and always go to bed feeling refreshed, refueled, and ready for the work week. 

3. Committing to slow: I’m an Enneagram 3 which means my default is often to do more.  But I also very much need to refuel through being alone and inside my home.  This means I have to consciously make the decision to step back and slow it all the way down from time to time.  Last weekend, we purposefully made the decision to say no to everything.  From Friday night after work to Sunday night when we went to bed, we stayed home.  With nowhere to be, no expectations, no plan, and no pressure, we watched movies, made yummy breakfasts, took naps, and read books.  I believe weekends like these need to be scheduled and committed to as much as a vacation – and celebrated as much as one, too! 

4. Cutting back on social media: You know that screen time app on the iPhones?  Turns out you can set time limits of as many apps as you want.  I set a combined hour limit on all my social media apps – Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest, and when the hour is up they all shut down.  It’s been a great accountability check for me and it feels freeing when I hit my hour! 

5. My Daily Bread:  I attended IF:Gathering this past weekend and was reminded over and over again how important it is to find time to just be quiet.  To empty myself so I can let Jesus fill me up, and to stay in God’s word as a means to remind me of what’s true.  But as someone who can easily make something one more thing to plan or schedule or check off a list, I’m trying a new approach.  Half hour lunch dates every day, just me, my Bible, and a few verses scripture to read over and over and keep tethered to my heart throughout my week.  My first week was fittingly spent in Romans 12: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."  Pushing pause in the my day to take a few deep breaths, pray, hear the thoughts that roll through my head, and grow through what God may be trying to teach me through it is exactly how I can keep from conforming to the patterns of the world and transform my mind instead.

My hope is to share my own learning and focus areas in each of the four rhythms of the book as I go.  The process of reflecting, documenting, and remembering the things I'm learning and trying is so good for me - and maybe might inspire someone along the way.