A Decade Old!

 

Our boy is 10 today.  One whole decade of parenting and raising this little boy.  How is that possible?!  We celebrated him big this weekend, breaking him out of school on Friday to go enjoy the gorgeous fall weather in Decorah, throwing a flag football party on Saturday with family (because when I asked if he'd rather have a family party or a friend party he said family), and waking up to birthday pancakes, a few presents, and a Hartman hike for just us four on Sunday.  But my favorite way to celebrate ten years of Cruz came from a not-so-little 45 minute video I created last week.  After sifting through ten years of external hard-drives and spending some late nights at the computer desk editing footage with tears literally running down my cheeks, I pulled together a video of Cruz.  We watched it together on Sunday and it was a special trip down memory lane.  

Little memories we had forgotten came flooding back.  Cruz used to kick his little legs in the morning after we'd let him out of his sleep sack and Beau would always sing "He's a Maniac."  Or when he was a little older and Beau and him had this thing where Beau would say, "Hey Cruz, what should we do today?" and Cruz would immediately put his finger to his chin and pretend to contemplate really hard before shooting his hand in the air as if he just thought of the best idea ever.  I had forgotten how he used to torment our kitty, Jade, or scrunch his little nose up real tight and suck in air, or how much he loved singing "If You're Happy and You Know It."  As much as I loved watching all that footage of little Cruz, I equally loved hearing Beau and I's voices, our simple world in our first little house, our big joy for our sweet baby boy who had changed our world and given us the title of mom and dad.

It was pretty surreal to watch baby Cruz and see so many early characteristics of his personality unfold and grow with his years.  His natural smile, his love for all things random and silly, his abundance of words, his love for books and that contemplative look when he's thinking real hard, and his patience and loving heart for his sister from the very start were all evident from the very start.  It was pretty easy to see God's handiwork in creating our son from the start and to see some of my favorite parts about him then have only grown stronger since.   

I'd be lying if I said creating that little video and thinking back to those early days of learning to become a mom didn't bring up a wildfire of emotions.  Those days were so simple, so special, and a part of me wanted to take a time machine back to that little living room on Fleur Drive, singing silly songs and squeezing that chunky toe head again.  Feelings of grief and abundant joy fill all the spaces of my heart when I sit long enough to really soak it all in.  Ten years of raising a child will do that to you.  But, there is more.  And I'm going to trust that these next ten years are going to unveil a whole new chapter of parenting that's going to be filled with much of the same.  Lots of silly, smiles, growth, and awestruck moments where we are filled with gratitude for the gift of Cruz.         

Happy DECADE, sweet boy.  You are kind, silly, smart, and handsome.  You are going to change the world for the good simply by being just who God made you to be.  And it is a joy to be your mom.