Living this Wild & Precious Life

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

It's one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone for the first time.

What do you do for a living?

We don't think anything of it, and answer with our occupation, or profession, or chosen field of study.

I'm a teacher.  

I sell insurance.

I clean teeth.

And it wasn't until I watched the documentary, This Way of Life, that I began to see the flaws in this statement that rolls off the tongue about as robotic as that four letter word sometimes sounds.  When Peter Karena, the patriarch of the New Zealand family depicted in the documentary is asked what he does for a living, he replies naturally with...

I live.  

Huh.  That's an interesting concept.  You mean instead of equating our lives with our jobs, Peter Karena measures his life by living?  Peter, who looks like Johnny Depp's younger (and better looking) brother, and his adorable family of eight are documented over the course of four years.  As viewers, we get an inside look at their lifestyle - one built on simplicity, togetherness, and the magic of the everyday.  They live in New Zealand, tame wild horses, and give their children opportunities to be free and explore their surroundings without holding them back with fear and modern day gaming systems.  While they do have modern amenities (you see them sprinkled throughout their house), they are merely in the backdrop, and they rely more on keen survival skills and love and appreciation for nature than anything material.  At one point, after they lose their house to a fire, they find themselves camping in a caravan before settling in a shed so Peter would have a place for his horses.  Not too long after they migrate again to a more spacious house, Peter's wife Colleen is interviewed.  With six little squirts playing in the background, Colleen says that although they have more room at their house, she misses the small shed.  "The more space you have, the more divided you become," she says.  

This unique perspective and contented way of living life is inspiring.  So inspiring that even my 16 year old students were called into reflection after watching last week.  The Karena's simple, quiet life, their deep connectedness with their kids, and their lack of value in the material world calls into question the fast-paced, over-achieving, technology-obsessed lifestyle that's so emphasized today.   

And did I mention their kids are ADORABLE?!

 

I'm convinced our lives are too fast paced.  And I'm convinced that in our attempt to be at everything, and be the best at everything, we are missing everything that counts.  So many times, I've wondered how much more I could be accomplishing at school if I'd forgo this little blog and maybe write for an educational-type blog, or publish an article, or write a grant.  And instead of Cruz and I's playdate at Kindermusik every Monday, maybe I should stay at school and grade papers, start a committee, or work on lesson plans.  And instead of reading that book to Cruz at bedtime, maybe I should learn to utilize Twitter and be a part of intellectually stimulating conversations about project-based learning, and competency based assessment, and the Iowa Core Curriculum.

Or...

I could play.

I could let Cruz create a masterpiece with finger paints.  Watch him explore the color wheel by painting a picture, his highchair, and the kitchen table, and then just for fun, have a little paint war with Beau just so the three of us could stand in front of the mirror and admire our painted cheeks.

I could eat a Scratch cupcake---two days in a row.  Spend a Thursday 'school night' downtown, sitting in front of the picture window with Cruz, peering through the frosted class at the horse and carriage trolleying up and down Main Street, just waiting for George Bailey to run through the streets yelling, 'Let me live again!'      

I could put off grading those papers one more day to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas with Cruz...

...or dance in the aisles of Target to a greeting card that plays 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree,' simply because it makes him smile.  I could buy a pirate Sock Monkey that sings Black Eyed Peas, because it's not like I have enough presents for the kid all ready.  I could replace supper with popcorn and strawberry smoothies from Target, followed by a beater-full of sugar cookie frosting for dessert.

I could spend every day living this life out as deliberately as I can, being a faithful follower of Christ, and loving my boys with all of my might.  Because at the end of the day, everything else will fall into place.

Having Cruz and becoming a mom has taught me more about life than any other stage in my life.  I've learned what it truly means to put someone else's needs far above my own.  I've learned that kids grow entirely too fast, and if you're not careful, you'll miss the good stuff.  And I've learned to let go of the details that used to keep my boat afloat---whether that means that sticky something I've neglected to wipe from the countertop, or that parent email that will just have to wait until Monday.

I'm far from there, but I'm striving to get closer.

 
This week, I want to pay attention.  I want to pay attention to the magic of Christmas through the eyes of my little sprite.  I want to experience the joy, and live out this wild and precious life in every way I can.  

 

..."So tell me, what is it you plan to do with your ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE?"  

Bring on the Books!

With a librarian grandma and an English teacher mom, it is inevitable that we would have a house full of books for Cruz.  He had a bookshelf full of books before he was even born, and over a year later, our bookshelves are busting at the seams!  I'm finding myself in a constant struggle to make books accessible to Cruz, yet keep them from getting 'toddlerized,' and lately feel the urge to ban Cruz from his room because I'm stick of stacking and re-stacking his beloved library on the shelf that's just at his reach.  Since my iPad board books are his reading material of choice these days, we needed a solution and new storage system for his many hardbound books.  And, because books are meant to be displayed, I looked to that bare wall in Cruz's toy room and...

  
Voila!  A $18 DIY bookshelf system!

Inspired by Pottery Barn's book shelf system, and modeled by similar bookshelves from the blog, Just a Girl, this was a fun project that was a breeze to put together.  We had most of the supplies at home, and purchased three different sizes of pre-primed white board feet (1x5.5, 1x3.5, and 1x1.5).  Beau cut each in three equal pieces, and used his nail gun to put them together.  Then, a coat of paint later, we have the makings of a reading nook (and lots of empty shelf space in Cruz's room. 

Bring on the books, Santa!

Fourteen Months

Today is December 12th, and marks Cruz's 14th month of living---pretty crazy, huh.  When I glanced at the calendar and noticed that today is the day, my mind trailed off to a year ago, maternity leave, and a tiny little two-month old at Christmastime.  While our little newborn brought a cozy, peaceful feeling to our holidays last season, our rambunctious, active little soul will bring a whole new life to our Christmas break.  

Cruz is the light of our lives and lately, he seems to make us laugh now more than ever.  Here are the top 14 highlights of Cruz's 14th month (in no random order)...
 
1.  Cruz's go-to word is 'Hi.'  He says it on command when we ask him to, says it on the phone while we're talking to someone, and peeks around the corner when we're in another room and says 'hi' like it's nobody's business.  Now 'mama,' and 'daddy,' that's another story!
 
2.  Cruz still loves to dance, and he prides himself in his versatility.  The other night on the way home from work, I caught Cruz boppin his head and shaking his arms to 'Moves Like Jagger.'  He's definitely got some swag and can imitate Jay-Z's rap arm wave, however, he also knows just when to clap when singing 'If You're Happy and You Know It.'  My favorite is when the three of us get going together---our dance parties are something you can only see to believe.

3.  Last month, Cruz was walking, yet still chose crawling as his chief form of transportation.  Now, he's a walking machine.  We just recently started to let him roam around in public places---let's just say this opens up a whole new world. 
 
4.  Cruz's favorite place to play seems to be in the bathtub.  He's super content in there, and sometimes tries to 'swim' away when I get his towel. 

5.  Cruz thinks it's hilarious to rub his dinner in his hair.  Hence the frequency of #4 :)
 
6.  Yesterday, I caught Cruz steering one of his toy cars, making a 'vroom' noise.  The other day while I was cleaning the kitchen, Cruz took a towel off the floor and proceeded to 'wipe' down the lower cabinets with his towel.  He helps me dust and always puts away toys when I direct him to.  The things he figures out and picks up on simply amazes me.  

7.  Cruz applauds every time we get out of the car.  
 
8.  Cruz may not be the best listener when it comes to reading books, he is a BIG fan of my iPad.  He loves the interactive apps. and knows exactly how to navigate his way around.  His favorite apps. include this interactive fish tank that teaches the alphabet, numbers, and colors, 'I Hear Ewe,' which introduces the entire animal kingdom, and 'The Monster at the End of this Book,' which just happened to be one of my favorite books growing up.  

9.  Cruz loves to giggle, and is easy to make laugh, especially when you're eating his toes, surprising him from around the corner, or pretending to chase him.  He's also very ticklish, which makes changing diapers all the more fun.  
 
10.  Lately, Cruz has picked up on a new sound, a sort of 'ow' scream that falls somewhere in between James Brown and Little Richie.  

11.  Lots of new teeth this month, including four molars (two on top, two of the bottom).  Twelve teeth to be exact, and I think he's working on another.
 
12.  Like every other kid on the planet, Cruz is a fan of the McDonald's Happy Meal.  We haven't ventured to the hamburger quite yet, but he's a big fan of chicken nuggets and french fries!

13. Awhile back, I ordered a fur bomber hat from Baby Gap for Cruz.  I saw it in an ad with a pair of candy cane striped pajamas and just couldn't pass it up.  Cruz has made quite the fashion statement in his hat, and gets lots and lots of compliments.  I haven't decided if it's because people think it's cute or absolutely ridiculous.  Either way, it's warm and Cruz seems to like it---that says a lot when you're talking about a toddler keeping a hat on his head!
 
14.  Cruz gives the best kisses!  When he gives a kiss, he wants everyone to know it.  

Recovering and Rediscovering Christmas

After one killer flu bug violently made its way through our house this week, we are slowly crawling out of our sweatpants and Lysoling our way back to some Christmas.  Although I am glad it hit the three of us this week instead of two weeks from now, it knocked us out for awhile and left Beau and I picking up the remains this weekend.  And there's nothing like a good flu to make you want to strip the sheets, soak the laundry, and scrub every inch of the bathroom.  So, this weekend, our last weekend before the start of our SEVEN family Christmases begins, we enjoyed a weekend of recovering our bodies, rebuilding our normal, and rediscovering a little Christmas.  

...We welcomed a Friday night invitation to Jordan and Kelli's to order pizza, lounge on the couch, and watch UNI play Montana in the playoffs.  After a stressful week, nothing sounded better than an easy night in, and Cruz and Charly couldn't have agreed more.  They played hard until they both passed out cold.  It's getting more and more fun watching the two of them together---Charly hides behind her lamp base and Cruz giggles as she jumps out to 'surprise' us.  I have a feeling they may grow up and look out for one another.
 
...I woke up to two gifts on Saturday morning.  One, my alarm clock read 8:12, aka, the latest Cruz has slept in for a long time, and two, my very smart hubby suggested we go out to eat for breakfast.  In our pajamas, the three of us enjoyed stuffed Iowa toast with fresh berry au jus, and eggs, hashbrowns, and all the works at our favorite breakfast establishment, Newtons.  Cruz discovered a love for sausage links, and Beau and I contentedly sipped our coffee and tea and wished Saturday morning could last all day.

What our sleepy head looks like after getting 12 hours of sleep...

...A shopping trip and a near Christmas shopping finish for me.  I try to do as much of my shopping as early as I can, however, always seem to purposely leave a few gifts for late in order to join in on the last minute busyness of the shopping season.  Barnes and Noble and Best Buy, American Eagle, Hallmark, and a finish at Wal-Mart---let's just say only one of my two shopping partners enjoyed the crowds ;)  I did, however, manage to get nearly all of my shopping done, and escape the stores without bringing home anything for Cruz.  I have officially cut myself off from buying him presents!

On the move at the mall...

...A good old fashioned meal and night inside for the three of us.  Don't judge me, but our meatloaf, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes totally hit the spot, and before you go all 'wow, what a loser' on me, I'll have you know we washed it all down with a couple of holiday White Russians.  Cruz was wiped out and went to bed fairly early, which left Beau, myself, our whiteys and a cribbage board.  Just like old times, we played Cribbage, listened to music, and talked about everything from our first house to our dream house.  It seems so easy to pull out a deck of cards and turn off the TV every now and then, yet, we realize we don't make it a point as often as we should.  We made a pact to drink a few more whiteys and have more of the kind of conversations we used to have.

...Sunday was a day of Christmas preparations.
 
...Some gift wrapping, 

...And cookie baking (the recipe for these little devils can be found here.  Hopefully yours turn out fluffier than mine---as it turns out, I think it was time for my baking soda to be replaced).

  
...A quick stop at Santa's workshop after church,

...and a chocolate treat discovered in today's advent mitten.

...And most of all, lots,

...and lots,

...of cuddling.  

I'm looking forward to so much in the next couple of weeks.  An end to another semester at school, followed by some fun, end-of-the-semester get togethers and celebrations.  Winter Break, aka, carpet picnics and Christmas movies, fires in the fireplace, and a cozy ride to check out Christmas lights.  I'm looking forward to celebrating the gift of a Savior and the hope that I may learn to surrender even more of who I am to Him.  I'm looking forward to finding the peace amidst the busy in the next couple weeks, hoping to find the joyful opportunities in each event and experience that comes its way in the last few weeks of 2011.  It's been another very blessed year for us, and we have lots to be thankful for.  

Hoping the peace and joy of Christmas finds you and yours this year.    

Random Acts of Kindness, Cont.

Our countdown to Christmas continues, even though I'm trying like mad to slow down the mittens from coming off the mantle.  Lately, I really feel like I'm sprinting behind this bus of life, only to be left in the dust.  But, we're continuing to make it a point to do something deliberately good every day this month.  It serves as a daily reminder that this season is about much much more than those presents under the tree.  

Dec. 2nd: Purchased toys for our church's Christmas Store.  The 2nd Annual Christmas Store opens on Saturday and provides families who are struggling financially the opportunity to shop for and purchase brand new toys at a great discount.  The goal this year is 1,000 toys.  This, along with a Christmas Craft Fair and Pancake Breakfast are part of Orchard's 'Christmas in Walnut' celebration that seeks to spread God's mission in other areas in the Cedar Valley. 

Dec. 3rd: Paid it forward at the drive-thru at Starbucks.  Thanks to the great idea of a fellow blogger friend (Thanks Staci), I not only purchased a Peppermint Mocha for myself, but treated the car behind me to a free order.  It was fun to think about the story behind the woman in the car, probably out shopping for Christmas and in need to some good ol' holiday caffeine.  I secretly hoped it made her day a little brighter, and even envisioned her being inspired as I was to pay it forward.  I'm not gonna lie---I had a permanent smile on my face half the morning.  

Dec. 4th: Christmas in Mozambique.  More on this to come.  

Dec. 5th: Donated the contents of my car's piggy bank to the Salvation Army tin at Hy-Vee.  I always love hearing stories of these red tins during the month of December.  Engagement rings from a lost love dropped anonymously in the bottom, rare coins worth thousands of dollars.  I love the sounds of the bells ringing as I get out of the car at any given grocery or department store.  I love the rush of the people in and out the doors, some stopping to stick in a couple of ones, others tilting their heads and spreading the spirit with a smile, a friendly 'hello,' or a jolly, 'Merry Christmas.'  I think Christmas shopping would seem a lot different without the familiar sound of the Salvation Army bells, and for that I'll keep of pocket change in my car all season long.

 

Naughty or Nice

Last year, Cruz couldn't tell Santa Claus from his Grandpa Curt.  He was just over a month old, and was perfectly content hanging out in Santa's arms, whether it be at Jordan Creek in Des Moines, College Square Mall in Cedar Falls, or Crossroads in Waterloo.  In fact, I could have let Cruz chill with Santa while I finished Christmas shopping.  Lots has changed since last year...

We went to visit Santa at the public library in my hometown, the library my mom works at.  The library was holding its annual open house, complete with cookies and punch, displayed artwork from a local artist, an acoustic guitar, and of course, Santa himself.  Cruz made himself at home pretty quickly, and warmed up to just about everything but the man in red.  At times, he'd get so close to him it looked as though he'd climb up in his lap himself, however, once we made the move, he was a goner.

  
Cruz may have been terrified by Santa Claus, but he was a big fan of the musician.  There he was, completely by himself in the middle of his own little dance floor, feeling the beat and grooving to the Christmas music.  He'd cock his head to the side as if feeling the beat of the music, then sway back and forth with a look of serious concentration.  Every now and then, he'd look up at the young guitarist and grin really big, as if they were the only two characters in the room.  It was adorable and soon attracted quite the crowd of onlookers. 

  
I stayed busy chasing Cruz around all over the library.  I'm pretty sure he stuck his lips against every glass surface in the building, and had his fair share of the fourteen dozen cookies that ran out well before the open house came to an end.  My favorite was watching my little short stack make his way through the crowds of people in the reception area.  Some people completely stepped over him, while others saw him and patted his blond head.  Cruz waved, said his usual 'hi,' and blew kisses to all the sweet ladies who charmed him.  

Cruz was not the only little squirt unsure of Mr. Claus.  In fact, it seemed the 1-3 age group was the most apprehensive when it came to winning over The Jolly One.  Charly Grace was not a fan of Santa either, but tried her very best to keep her tears inside while she sat on his knee.  

They may have been scared of Santa, but they liked his chair...

After our emotional Santa adventure and Chris and April's annual ugly sweater party last night, we enjoyed a lazy Sunday at home.  Can't believe Christmas Eve is three weeks from tonight!  Please. Go.  SLOW.   


Have a good week everyone :)

Counting in December

For some reason, tonight's 'TGIF' was welcomed with even more excitement than usual.  It may be because I had to trade my 'Jeans Friday' for dress pants and attend a conference in Ames with a few other teachers today.  Or it may have something to do with the fact that Cruz was really sweet this morning before I left, cuddling and kissing and giving me that pouty lip as I headed out the door five minutes late.  I think it also had something to do with the fact that it's December, December 2nd to be exact, and I have Christmas on the brain.  

I'm a person who works well under lists, and I thrive in environments with numbered expectations.  For example (and this is where the weirdness comes out), I number my to-do list each week, counting the tasks I hope to accomplish for the week, then dividing them by five for each day of the week.  That gives me a number, an expectation to work with.  I know by now what is realistic and what is totally wishful thinking, but I love my list and work well with my lists.  It's a reward system of sorts, as I make sure to add in a few fun to-dos each week, too.  

And because of my love of numbers, love of lists, and love of countdowns, the month of December is right up my alley.  I love the 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family, and have filled my DVR with both classic and contemporary titles.  Home Alone 2 last Wednesday, Jim Carrey's, The Grinch, tonight, and The Polar Express on Monday.  The movies ensure there is always something good on TV at night, and I've retired to bed every night this week with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head.  I'm excited to introduce Cruz to some of my holiday favorites this month, and can't wait to see what he thinks of Charlie Brown, Rudolph, and even that mean ol' Grinch.

In addition to my ABC family obsession, I've also continued my mittens on the mantle place, 25 to be exact.  Last year, the empty mittens served solely as decoration, but this year they have a dual purpose.  This year, each mitten is filled with a treat, a tiny surprise to help Cruz count down the days until Christmas Day is here.  Last night, we pulled the very first mitten, and found a Santa Claus sticker inside.  Tonight, a miniature Twix bar.  Somedays, he'll get to open a wrapped book, or uncover a little seasonal sock monkey snow globe, while other times he'll find tiny notes of fun Christmas tasks to take part in together.  A sippy cup of 'hot' chocolate, a book about Jesus' birthday, or a car ride in pajamas to check out Christmas lights.  I had so much fun filling each mitten with a surprise, and hope this is a tradition that continues for years to come.

And now comes my third countdown adventure, something new to add to the list this year.  Call it my 25 Days of Kindness, 25 deliberate and random acts of kindness around our community....

Day 1 - Cruz and I brought a sack of toiletries to his daycare yesterday.  Toothpaste and dental floss, baby lotion and Germ-x, are all part of the Kidz Care Program, a program that seeks to provide underprivileged families with care packages during the holidays.  During a season when we seem overly occupied with toys and new clothes and plates and Christmas cookies, we forget how the essentials, the necessities add up.  It's fun to walk by the big box every day at daycare and see the contents pile higher and higher.  

Tonight, the three of us had so much fun.  We wandered through the aisles of Lowes, getting up close and personal with the inflatable Christmas decor, had a super fun dinner at Olive Garden, and ended the night with a little Christmas shopping at Toys 'R Us.  Cruz was good as gold, entertaining the hostesses at OG by blowing kisses and playing hard-to-get, and eating his kids' meal of penne alfredo, grapes, and of course, all-you-can-eat breadsticks like a champ.  And because Cruz was such a good sitter at Olive Garden, we decided to let him wander a little at Toys R' Us...

I think his face says it all...

Cruz was a big fan of this old school popcorn popper toy.  He pushed that thing all over the store.  Although I try to not to age him, I secretly love that he is walking now.  It's fun to let him explore on his own.  He walked up and down those aisles, proud as can be.  He's a ham, that's for sure, and while we left the $12 popcorn popper behind, I may have to let Santa know about that one.