Monday, January 3, 2011

Dear Cruz...

Tonight is Sunday and we just spent an hour in my bedroom, lying on the bed, sharing smiles, and playing with your toys.  I'm trying so hard to get you to giggle...I can tell you are so close.  You love the attention and have become quite the smile all the time and have the sweetest little voice.  As we empty every toy you have onto the bed, I wonder what your voice will sound like when you are bigger and wonder if there will ever come a time when your smile doesn't make me want to explode with happiness.

I absolutely love nights like tonight.  These are the nights that it's all about.  Nights when I drown out the world around me, and climb into this safe little bubble of pajama pants, warm bed covers, and baby feet.  I get lost in your face and can't take my eyes off you.  You, of course, are oblivious to all, which makes moments like these even sweeter.  It's amazing that such a small, innocent, unknowing thing can bring such life to a person's world.

As I look ahead to my last week of maternity leave, I pray for so many nights like this.  Nights and moments that give me the power to let go and live contentedly in this bubble we have created.  I pray that I can balance life as a mother and teacher, wife and teacher, and that I don't dwell on the minutes I will miss, but make the most of the minutes that I have.  And most of all, I pray that the bond we have formed the past 13 weeks isn't broken by day care.  I pray that this transition is a good one for us as a family, that we get into a routine that only makes us stronger. 

I am so thankful I've had this time at home with you.  You are such a good boy and I am so proud to be your mommy.  Here's to living in a bubble for one more week.  I'm shooting for a giggle, little one, and am running out of ridiculous faces to make it happen.  It's up to you now!

I love you so much...


1 comment:

  1. Okay, in that first picture, I actually see you Ash. Something about his look. It's the first time I can say that!



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