Friday, July 8, 2011

Dear CB...

Today is July 7, and according to Mr. Spurr, our high school’s science teacher and the bearded guy who holds you every Sunday before church starts, summer is officially one half over. This news brings chills to my spine and leaves me lying in bed awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Think positive thoughts. Think glass half-full. You still have HALF the summer LEFT!

To be quite honest, I was a little apprehensive about summer starting. It would be my first summer as a mom, my first summer with you. In the past, my summers have been consumed with to-do lists of projects I don’t have time for during the school year. Deep cleaning the laundry room, washing windows, and sorting through closets. Baking new and exotic dishes, attempting to perfect that pie crust, and laying out in the sun as much as humanly possible. It’s also been about expanding my professional repertoire…Masters’ classes, writing courses, and professional development workshops. In the past, my summer success has been measured by how clean the house is, how many new recipes are in my recipe box, and how tan my tummy is. Last summer, while I laid in my baby pool, read Eat, Pray, Love, and gently patted my baby bump, I knew next summer would look far different. And to be honest, I was a little nervous about it.

Fast forward a year to today. A day that started with homemade oatmeal and a fresh banana. A morning walk, some sidewalk chalk, and a pit-stop at the park swings. An afternoon bottle, and an afternoon snuggle that leads to a long afternoon nap, just enough time to throw a load of laundry in, clean the bathroom, and upload a few pictures before I’m missing you and pacing by your room, waiting for you to wake up. This has been the track of our simple summer playlist. Quiet mornings, afternoons outside, and lots of time bonding with you.

This has been one of the greatest summers of my life. While maternity leave was wonderful, it was also so new to us, and with that, a little overwhelming. We had no routine, ample visitors, and sleepless nights. This summer has been exactly what I needed to reconnect and really sink in to this comfortable world of mommyhood. We’ve eased our way into this great little routine and everything just feels right.

Although I know it’s going to be tough bringing you back to daycare in August, I am so thankful for these days at home with you. For the last half of summer, I’m ready to make every day special, every day count. Whether it’s taking you on a trip out of town, or just soaking in this stage of your life, these are the days that matter the most. And while I do still hope to get that family room finished in the basement, restain and refinish our back deck, and maybe even paint our living room, it’s not going to define my summer.

It’s you, your chubby little tan arms, white blond hair, and seven tiny little teeth. It’s the little groan you make while you’re concentrating on a toy, or the yell you let out when you hear your voice echo in the basement. It’s the one foot you always kick while in the stroller, and the one fist that’s always full of puffs. It’s the way you dig your forehead into mine, nuzzle your cheek against my face, and attempt to give kisses (or take a bite out of my lip). It’s your shy face, your giggle, and the new face you make where you scrunch up your nose and suck air through your front teeth.

Happy Summer, baby. Here’s to another half!

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