Every now and then, I have to remind myself to slow down and just look at you. Study how long your eyelashes have gotten, or soak in how sweet your face looks when you lay there so still, with your hands cupped up to your chin, your two big brown eyes just staring into mine. I see so much in those eyes of yours.
There’s excitement, in the look on your face when we walk into your room at daycare, or when I ask you if you want to play downstairs. It’s in the way you holler and cheer when yet another ‘CHUCKY CHEESE’ commercial is on TV, or when we pass a truck, or a crane, or a ‘racecar’ on the side of the road.
I see your wild imagination, in the way your eyes light up when a Pringles can magically becomes a telescope, or when you lay on your tummy and play with your pirate ship before bed. It’s there when you so diligently make us noodles or chicken nuggets in your kitchen, or help us stir the real thing by the stovetop.
I see your innocent concern, when the animals get rained on in Little Blue Truck, or the way you held my hand so tight and watched the doctor like a hawk when you came with me to my appointment.
I see your affection, your sweet kisses I will never grow tired of, the way your wrap those arms around our necks when you really missed us, or the times you get real close to my face and whisper secrets in my ear.
I see your independence, in the way you know exactly what you want, but are more content figuring things out on your own instead of one of us doing it for you.
I absolutely love that you like arranging things into rows right now.
I see your devotion. To Elmo, and Red Truck, and every single thing you point out and ask ‘What’s this?’ in your absolute favorite books. You remind us to pray when we forget (even at Pablos), and have taught me that God’s sanctuary can exist in many places --- the side of your bed after tucking you in, the three of us crowded in our tiny bathroom during your bath, or yes, even at McDonalds, sipping Shamrock Shakes and sharing Sweet and Sour sauce.
I see your spirit. It’s in the way you twirl in circles during a dance party in our living room, or the way you whisper and wait anxiously for daddy to find our hiding spot in a game of hide-and-seek.
I see your curiosity, it comes alive during books before bed or when you tell stories with Dad.
I see your contentment, at 5:30 in the morning when you curl up next to me in our bed, or when I watch you fully engrossed in play, as if the four walls of our home are everything you need in the whole world.
Sometimes, I watch you and am reminded how precious these days are. I feel like we’ve turned a new chapter right now, and are in the pages of a great story. And although you have no idea now, I hope that someday you can understand how blessed I feel to be a character in this story with you. We’re chasing our dreams and are so proud of you --- this little boy who is the source of more happiness, more laughter, and more love than I ever dreamed possible.