Friday, March 29, 2013

if sledding were enough - a child's world

"I walked over the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough. But it isn't."
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Beau and I are in the midst of some big life decisions here lately, and figuring out where to call our next home is one of them.  Tonight after work, we met with our realtor to look at a couple of houses that hit the market and Cruz came along for the ride.  This is not our first rodeo when it comes to looking at houses, and although it sometimes creates more stress bringing him along, I like having him there with us.  Watching his reaction, reading his responses, and visualizing him growing up in each of the houses we look at has in many ways, helped me reach some decisions and form a clearer idea of what I want in our next home.

Since he was just days old, I've always been impressed with his ability to just go with it.  No matter where he is, he not only adapts, but makes the most of every little adventure thrown his way.  Unlike his mom, change doesn't seem to faze him much.  Tonight was no different.  We walked into the house and within minutes, he was unzipping his coat, hanging it on the stair rail, and wandering through this new place, ducking in and out of rooms, and exploring his new territory with excitement and elation.  Five minutes later, he pooped his pants.  

Talk about making yourself at home.

At one point during our showing (after we thankfully found an extra diaper in our backseat), Cruz was making the rounds in a house, frequently jumping up and down and sharing his excitement with high-pitched jabber and lots of, "look at this, mom" and "whoa, dad" phrases when I heard our realtor say something along the lines of, 'Wouldn't it be nice if we all got so excited about life the way he does?'  If we could just abandon the grown-up feelings of stress, anxiety, and frustration, and fully let ourselves absorb our surroundings, look for adventures in unknown places, and share our happiness openly and genuinely with others.  If only it were that easy...

We think the older we get, the more we figure out; however, in some areas it seems we devolve.  Sometimes I wish I could flip a switch and be immersed in Cruz's world - a world that exists only in the present, one that is full of possibility and imagination and new things to learn and explore.     

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to get to be around this every day.  And while I am reminded all the time of just how temporary his childhood is, I pray a part of me never forgets this image of who he is right now.  This passionate, headstrong, free spirit who loves to laugh, loves to play, and loves to explore the big wide world in front of him. 

On Friday, Beau built Cruz a pirate flag and taped it to a clothes basket to stimulate a mighty pirate ship.  Cruz spotted it in the living room after his nap and immediately entered a world of pretend, climbing aboard his vessel, dressing in his cape, and fishing off the side with his magnetic pole set from Land of Nod.  The more we painted the scene with him, the more it all came alive, and the more I realized the true power of one's imagination.  His ability to strip away the world around him and fully enter one he has the power to paint is fascinating and something that gets harder to understand as we age.


I am so blessed to live in a world where a clothes basket can become far more than a place to store laundry and blessed to see the world through the eyes of a little boy who sees magic everywhere he looks.


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