Every year, I like to challenge myself to reflect on the year that was and set some intentions for the new year to come. It's a healthy process, but it can also be a hard one. Thumbing through last year's journal, paging through notes, revisiting scripture, and attempting to connect the dots and move forward with vision and direction is an overwhelming process for me. But it's such a rewarding one. Last year was my year of living free. With Hebrews 12:1 as my compass, I was ready to get out of the stands as a spectator and get in the race for Christ. I desired to run weightless and free, getting rid of the sin and worldly things that so easily trip us up and live my year out with purpose. And although I know better than this, I kind of thought I'd be able to stand on the other side of this past year and say yep, I did it. I am free. While freedom is already ours because of the death and resurrection of Jesus, living out our daily walk as if we have that freedom is an entirely different thing. In her memorable talk at IF:Gathering 2018, Christine Caine reminded me that living free isn't a one-time, cross-the-finish-line, check-that-off-and-call-it-good endeavor, but a decision we choose, with God's help, single day.
"Testimony is not that one time you decided to believe. It is a life of following Jesus, choosing obedience over and over again, failing, failing, and skinning up those knees, but getting back up again because life with God is the only kind of life I want to have."
2018 was a big year of growth for me. It was a year of new things - I finished reading the Bible, led two studies at my church, and joined a small group with three other couples. We explored two countries in Europe for the first time, Mila started her last year at Blessed Beginnings, and Cruz started 2nd grade at a brand new school. In many ways, I felt like I had hit my stride in the race. But while I learned a lot through all these things, I learned just as much from the skinned up knees. The days when I didn't feel free at all, but could see God shining a light on the dark places that needed to be reworked and transformed. The days when I was caught up in the doing instead of the being. The days when it became all about me instead of all about Him. The days when I felt like a tumbleweed in the wind instead of a tree firmly planted beside flowing streams. These are the rough edges that need tending and when we give them to God, He can work them into something new. That's where the growth is, and the more we trust God with it, the more free we become.
In order to live free in 2019, God is calling me to delight.
Definition || a cause or source of great pleasure. to please someone greatly
Verse || Psalm 37: 3-4: "Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Vision || In 2019, I will delight in 1) the loving presence of God 2) the person He's made me to be 3) the people He's purposely put in my life, and 4) my present and the good found in it.
At first, I was leaning towards the term lean in as my year's word, but then God put delight on my heart. Then when I looked up the word delight as it is used in the Bible, it was no accident I discovered that the most common Hebrew term for delight is "hepes" which means "to bend towards, or to be inclined towards", aka, the exact definition of lean in. I had no idea! But what I do know is that God is asking me to spend the year ahead leaning right in to where He has me and finding delight in it all - in Him, in the people, in the opportunities, in the hard work I sometimes want to avoid, in the rough edges He wants to transform, and in the unique and purposeful ways He's wired me. I can be hard on myself and others. I can see lack before I see abundance. I can get all wrapped up in this world instead of living simply and looking to Jesus as my example. When one narrows down the life of Jesus, it is pretty clear how He lived. He knew his Father. He used His gifts to make disciples. He invited people into His life and served them. And He lived each day seeing the gift and opportunity that it was.
1. Trust in the Lord, finding delight in His loving presence alone
...Instead his delight is in the Lord's instruction, and he meditates on it day and night. He is like a tree planted beside flowing streams that bears its fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
Psalm 1: 2-3
-I want to slow down my life to ensure I am in sync with God. I want to prioritize God's presence before all that needs to get done and let Him in to direct whatever He has for me that day. I want to build up my prayer life. I want to create Sabbath rhythms that make this kind of loving surrender routinely possible. I want to live with the kind of grace that overwhelms and overflows into all other areas of my life. I want to delight in God's plan and put my trust in Him.
2. Live securely as the person He's wired me to be
For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one. Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.
Ephesians 12: 3-6
-I want to live out my calling as a disciple-maker, to use the ways God has changed my life to spur on and encourage others. I want to study the enneagram. I want to lead another study. I want carry a different blueprint - one that is confident in my identify. I want to live healthy, whole, and intentionally.
3. Dwell in the land and do good for the people He's purposefully put in my life
...Each one of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to build him up...Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with one mind and one voice.
Romans 15: 1-6
-I want to invest deeply right where I'm at. I want to see the abundance, not the lack. I want to serve from a place of overflow and affirm others over myself. I want to invite people in. I want to dwell well in this home and find joy in it. I want to love Beau and the kids and put their needs ahead of my own. I want to seek connection within the one family God's gifted me.
4. Take delight in the Lord and the goodness in my present
His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. By these he has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness.
2 Peter 1: 3-7
-I want every day to be a new opportunity to see good and do good. I want to adventure well. I want to create experiences that add a little beauty to the mundane. I want to soak up the small things. I want find something to be grateful for in this moment. I want to lean into it all, even when it hurts.
So there it is. A rough sketch for a year with a whole lot to delight in. Here she goes!
And special shout out to Nicole Harnois Photography for her amazing captures this year. We love them so much!
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