Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dear Cruz...

I'll admit, sometimes I question how much extra time I would have if I decided to give up my blogging endeavor.  I know I'd have lots more time to grade that stack of papers hanging over my head, or cook more, or even update my 10th grade class blog on a more regular basis.  I might have more time to clean, or crochet, or cut coupons.  Sometimes, I think a small weight might be lifted from my shoulders.  One less expectation, one less 'thing to do.'  I try my best to make this blog something I want to do, but the problem is, there's always too much I want to do.

But just when I think of giving it up, I snap a few pictures.

I capture some piece of you, or some moment with you, and I feel compelled to write it down.  To spill every inch, every piece of you onto my computer screen in hopes I won't ever forgot it.  The hundreds of pictures I take each week becomes my personal narrative of life with you.  Every expression, every look, and every outfit brings back a particular day, a new experience, or a memory of your life.  And that, baby, is priceless.

You, Cruz Bennett, are halfway through your sixth month.  You are such a happy, fun-loving, easy little boy who loves to laugh and loves to be a part of everything.  You're content just being, whether that is stacking your plastic cups, watching Swamp People on Dad's lap, sitting in the bathroom sink while I do my makeup, or watching me fold laundry from your crib. 

So what do I wish to capture this month???

...those first looks in the morning, after those first little chirps I hear from your room.  Some mornings, you cry, but others, you chirp.  I find you on your back, gently playing with your pacifier or chewing on the corner of your blankie, talking and humming sweetly to yourself.  I tip-toe in, lean over your crib, and am greeted with a smile. stinkin' cute you look in your pajamas.  Last night, you wore your first 'big boy' pajamas and they are awesome.  Cute little cotton stretch pants and a tight little muscle tee.  It took everything in me not to 'Add to Bag' on Baby Gap!

...cuddling with you.  You can be quite the little ham to hold sometimes, especially now that you figured out how fun it is to look around from upside down, but when it comes down to it, you are such a cuddle monster.  I love this about you and wouldn't give up those nights rocking you to sleep for anything.

...feeding you!  It's much more fun to make your own baby food when you absolutely love eating it!  From cauliflower to squash, bananas to pears, and avocado to rutabaga, you love trying new foods and sitting in your high chair.  Feeding you is definitely one of my favorite times of each day; however, you keep me busy!  Now that you're eating three 'meals' a day, I need to stock up on the veggies!

...Your squeals, your screams, and your shrieks, especially when you are jumping in your jumperoo.  It's your favorite toy in the house, and you get quite the leg workout. 

...your soft, chubby little legs.  Your daddy thinks you look like a tater tot and even calls you that sometimes!  Our blond, chubby little tater tot.

...all your looks; your look of determination as you attempt to grab a chunk of my hair, your curiosity as you lean over our shoulders to spot your bottle, your look of mischief as you try and bond with your cat, your look of pride when you sit atop your daddy's shoulders, and the way you sometimes grab my face with both hands as if you're going in for a big one.  

I know that all too soon, there will come a time when you won't stare stone-faced at the camera, where you won't sit still and smile when I say something funny or shake a rattle above my head.  So, I will continue to snap, click, and capture the art of you for as long as you'll let me... 


Your mama

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