Tuesday, March 20, 2012

'So kiss me and smile for me...'

Well, Cruz Man, although you have no idea what's about to unfold, you are about to lose your mama for an entire week.  Yes, on Friday morning, at an early six a.m., this working mama is joining three of her colleagues to attend the ASCD National Conference in Philly.  We present on Sunday and fly out Monday afternoon.  And while four days, a new city, and a national presentation at one of the largest educational institutions in the world is amazing and totally doable, there's a slight catch.  Yes, instead of flying home on Monday afternoon, I will wave goodbye to my ASCD team, and catch a flight to Florida for another conference where I will meet a new group of colleagues. For one entire week, I will be on another side of the country, away from you and your dad.  And I'm not sure who it's going to be the hardest on...

While I'm very excited for the opportunity to present professionally, I've never left you this long, let alone left home this long.  And although I'm looking forward to putting on my big girl pants and trying this out on my own, another part of me is completely freaked about the entire thing.  Speaking at a national conference to a large audience, packing for a week for two completely different climates, getting from Philly to Florida alone, maneuvering my luggage, finding my way to my hotel, and eventually to the pool, leaves me wondering if I may be in over my head.  I don't have the slightest clue how to hail a cab... 

And then I think about you and your dad, baching it for a week without, let's be honest, the structure, in your lives --- the meal-planner and clothes-picker, the bag-packer and schedule-queen.  And while I have every confidence in the world that your amazing daddy will do just fine without me, a deeper part of me fears that you'll get along too well without me.  That you won't miss me or frankly even know that I'm gone.  I already dream about you picking me up at the airport next week, but worry that our reunion might leave you attached to your dad and me feeling completely heart broken.  You're only one, though, and I need to remember that we don't live in a movie screen.  However, thanks to modern day technology, we can still see each other through our computer screens, all week long.  We'll teach you Face Time, baby, and you can tell all about your day and get to mess with the computer we usually never let you have ;)

So, as I savor the rest of my time with you this week, I will go into the weekend with sweet moments of you.  I'm so thankful we had Spring Break week to play and bond and make fun little memories that will keep me strong in my travels.


Like moments when...  

...you brought me your clothes, one piece at a time, as daddy was in the bathroom getting you ready for your bath.  As you hand me your onesie, you give me an unexpected kiss, right on the lips, with sound effects and all.  Then, as you head back to the bathroom, with nothing but your diaper, you suddenly realize your kiss wasn't as good as it could have been, so you stop halfway, turn around, and plant another giant one on me.      

...you 'get us.' 

...you lay your head on my shoulder and make sure to tuck both arms in between our chests.

...you play so cute at our neighbor's birthday party last weekend.  It is so fun watching you interact with other kids, wander around the people, and find just the right thing to keep you busy.  A water table filled with sand, a bowl filled with chips, and your very first Capri Sun.   

Caught ya!

...you get jealous when I hold another baby.  Your brown eyes immediately lock with mine, your lip comes out, and you cry in abandonment.  It's adorable, but something that will have to pass if you are someday blessed with a brother or sister :)

...I catch you tucking in a baby doll at the church nursery last Sunday.  There in the middle of the room by yourself, making sure this little baby has a blanket and a bed to sleep in.  It looked so natural on you and regardless of what your dad says, I may have to buy you one for yourself ;)

I will miss you to pieces, next week, but look forward to our Skype dates and stories from what's sure to be a very eventful 'guys' week.'

Love you!

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