Reflections from Holy Week

"My body is like this bread.  It will break," Jesus told them.  "This cup of wine is like my blood.  It will pour out.  And this is how God will rescue the whole world.  My life will break and God's broken world will mend.  My heart will tear apart - and your hearts will heal.  Just as the passover lamb died, so now I will die instead of you.  My blood will wash away all of your sins.  And you'll be clean on the inside - in your hearts.  So whenever you eat and drink, remember," Jesus said, "I've rescued you!"

Jesus knew it was nearly time for him to leave the world and to go back to God.  "I won't be with you long," he said.  "You are going to be sad.  But God's helper will come.  And then you'll be filled with a Forever Happiness that won't ever leave.  So don't be afraid.  You are my friends and I love you."  Then they sang their favorite song.  And walked up to their favorite place, an olive garden.

-The Jesus Storybook Bible, Sally Lloyd Jones

I wanted to feel this Holy Week.  To sink in the weight and heaviness of it all and let it sit there.  I just finished up Andy Stanley's powerful sermon series called, 90, a twelve-week series that's examined the life of Jesus, and I was reminded and invited to understand a little more about this King I follow.  I was reminded of a Jesus who climbed in a boat with a bunch of dudes, asked them to trust him, and smiled as he showed them a small sign of his provision when they said yes.  I was reminded of Jesus with little children, playful and loving toward them, admiring their childlike faith and saying it's the kind of faith that what would inherit his kingdom.  I was reminded of God's great plan as I reread the story of Abraham in Genesis, walking up that mountain to sacrifice his only precious son, the ram that showed up instead, and a promise that God will provide the sacrifice in his time.  And then, my stomach turned and my eyes filled with tears as we got to the part of the crucifixion, and I was reminded of the horror that Jesus, the true sacrifice, endured on the cross.  The act of crucifixion was so terrible that all artwork that depicted it was actually banned until the very last generation that lived to see it all died.  Today, we look at images of the cross and are desensitized to it all, but I was reminded that there was nothing sanitary or romantic about this picture.  It was awful.

I wanted to feel Holy Week, but I didn't expect to feel it the way I did.  Yesterday was a hard day, a day when an otherwise simple argument with someone I love led to all kinds of hard, deep truths about myself and the brokenness in this world.  I sat in it all - the emotion, the hurt, the sin, and I processed it through the lens of the cross.  I prayed, pressed in, and shared my struggle with some close friends later that night.  And I felt exposed, vulnerable, and weak.  Just a small glimpse of how Jesus felt as he carried his cross, a cross meant for us.  

I was reminded yesterday that the beauty of God's upside down kingdom is that God makes us strong through our weakness, not our strength.  And it's when we empty ourselves enough to let him fill us with his love and strength and power that we begin to understand what grace is all about.  He shines his light in our broken pieces and redeems them for his purpose and glory.  And that redemption leads to the true freedom I'm after.  It's what we celebrate on Easter Sunday.  God's great rescue plan, worked out for us, in us, and through us, a plan that takes our brokenness and heaviness and turns it into a beautiful story of freedom.        

In my journal this morning, I unpacked three truths God has pointed me toward this Lenten season.  I pray they might be used to enlighten, challenge, or inspire you as we celebrate Easter and move to a life of living the life Jesus died for.  

1. Jesus broke all the rules

613 of them to be exact.  It's been interesting this year to have read "The Law" (the first five books of the Bible) and understand a little more of the world prior to Jesus coming and turning it all on its head.  These books are basically one big story of God creating a holy people (Israel) more fully able to love God and love others.  God set these people apart to show other nations about Him.  He gives them a new way to live through the law, and over and over again, we see them rebel and fail.  And rebel and fail some more.  They are incapable of following all the laws God gives them to set them apart because their hearts are wired to sin.  

Then Jesus came, taught from this law, but fulfilled it.  And he fulfilled it with a new law, a single law that would sum up everything.  Love God, Love others.  He demonstrated this during his time on this earth, without fail, and it looked quite different than what everyone pictured.  He got his hands dirty, invited sinners to his table, and said the temple was nothing more than a pile of bricks.  He didn't act like the king they were waiting for, because their hard hearts didn't allow them to see him.  And that is why he died.  We needed new hearts, and the power to transform through his spirit.

2. Christ died, so we must die, too.

Galatians 2:20 says this: "My old self was crucified with Christ.  It's no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me."  Christ's death is an invitation to a life of transformation, from old to new.  Easter is a time of death and rebirth.  And we as Christians must surrender to a similar death and rebirth in order to be transformed.  This transformed life is a journey.  Living in his word instead of in my world, identifying the sin that consumes me and distracts me from a transformed life, and leaning on prayer and other believers to strengthen and encourage me are all ways that help me understand this new life I'm called to live.  And as I learned this week, it involves an emptying of myself, so that God can fill me and flow through me.  

3. I want to live a life worthy of the calling received (Ephesians 4:1)

I don't want to be hardened, desensitized, or asleep to grace.  This is no small story we are invited to be part of and I want to live a life that demonstrates that!  But before I can step into that calling in the way He desires of me, I need to first see the kingdom rightly.  I must see it all through the lens of Jesus, not the lens of this world.  Matt Chandler says it this way: "A king who dies on a cross must be the king of a rather strange kingdom.  While the kingdoms of this world are built by force, the kingdom of Jesus is built on grace.  We must not see it as Rome, but we must see it through the lens of Jesus' cross.  

So what does this mean?  Jesus' way of living out the calling is often counterintuitive to the ways of this world, and the ways I picture it.  Paul says it's through things like humility and gentleness, patience, love, and unity (Ephesians 4:2).  It's through serving others, putting others above myself, doing the things that no one wants to do, and building one another up in love.  We've been equipped to do it, but it's often through our weakness that God's power is made known.  He must become greater, I must become less. 

When Jesus died, He gave us so much in return.  He gave us all full access to a life with Him, despite the weight of our sin.  He gave us new hearts and a powerful spirit, able to transform and love others the way he desires of us.  He gave us fruit, gifts and purpose to live out in order to build a picture of his kingdom right here on earth.  He gave us His word and the life of Jesus as a picture of true faith and true love to live out.  So there you have it.  A small picture of all that's been swimming in this heart this lenten season.  Happy Easter!  May God use it as an opportunity to bless you, renew your heart, and give you steps toward a transformed life.  May we live as new creation, bought with the blood of Jesus. 

"Bear your cross as you wait for the crown,

tell the world of the treasure you found."  

Good Things || Early Spring

I finished last year's gratitude journal, a little gray book from Val Marie Paper with black cursive letters on the front cover that simply say, "Thanks, God."  1,000 simple sentences of gratitude from last year.  Now, the little book has become a sort of family almanac for us to look back on and remember simple things we were soaking up last year at this time.  Moments like when Cruz used to lay in a barely finished basement bedroom and request Alexa to play "Fight Song" over and over (and over) again.  Now, a year later, his sister is doing the same thing, only in a finished space that all four of us are very thankful for.  From those tiny tulip petals Mila kept in the little birdcage in her room for a month, to a day at work when God breathed a little of Himself in an otherwise ordinary encounter with a student, these small memories of joy continue to do their thing a year later.  Just three, simple things a day that make you smile, make you thankful, or make you stop, take a pause, and marvel at the beauty that surrounds us lead to 1,000 gifts of a year.  

Good gifts of early spring...   

665.  Their bond of The White Stripes.  They listen to it on the way to school nearly every day, and now Mila knows the words by heart.  Beau started learning it on guitar and now they practice together.  Look for a debut video on here soon. 

666. Dance parties to The Greatest Showman soundtrack.  It plays on loop around here and you can't help but want to start the world on fire.  Or if you're Mila, toss your hair around and scream really loud.

667. Plugging away on Shutterfly books, another opportunity to relive colorful moments and sweet stories.

668. When he makes her giggle.  Really giggle.

669. All these pictures of the two of them.  We are in this sweet spot of parenting where both kids are independent, yet love to be together.  We've been having so much fun lately doing the simplest of things, like setting the table for supper, playing rousing games of "Don't Let the Balloon Touch the Ground", or having Just Dance parties before bed.  Beau has been calling us "the crew" and I quite love that.  

670. Or games of tag in this big ol' space.  I've been counting my steps and if I'm not to 10,000 by the end of the day, we play Tag.  The kids run and giggle and sometimes we even end with a dance fight.

671. And last weekend with the Guesses.  Nate, Kate, and the kids came for the weekend and as we always seem to do, we made memories we'll likely be talking about for years to come.  I spent all week getting this house ready to embrace them all in one big bear hug the moment they walked in.  From the big fluffy bedding in the guest room, to the Cup of Joe coffee in the pantry, I loved getting every last detail ready to love on the people we would welcome inside.  And Friday night, our Pella friends gathered with us around the table while one epic snowfall started outside.  The kids camped out downstairs and watched Ferdinand while we reconnected over cupcakes and Vietnamese coffee with Frangelico.  It was cozy and special and the unique late-March snowstorm seemed to add to the level of excitement.  

Saturday morning, we were snowed in.  We stayed in our pajamas and made pancakes, then the girls painted nails while the boys watched Star Wars.  Then we did as any good Iowans will do in March when we receive a foot of snow in 30 degree weather.  We had a campfire!

One of the many reasons Kate and I connect so well is we are both lovers of experiences that inspire us, shape us, and bring us joy.  Especially unique experiences where God clearly steps in and surprises us in ways we could never quite plan for ourselves.  Never did we think our weekend together in March would include a roaring fire outside while the snow fell thick around us, but I'm sure glad it did.  We threw snowballs, built forts, roasted hot dogs, and made s'mores.  And when the kids got cold, they went inside for a dance party and the adults listened to Willie and sipped a little whiskey.  Then we played card games and ate chocolate chip cookies, then left the kids in good hands with Payton while the adults enjoyed a night out to some old and new favorites around town.   

We sure love doing life with this family.  Whether it's riding bikes or learning to two-step in Austin, calling the Magnolia House home for a few days, camping under the stars in Decorah, or playing in the snow in our own backyard, it seems God has weaved our hearts together for the long haul.  And we're so thankful He's smack dab in the center of it all.      

Thanks for one last hurrah, you beautiful winter snow.  But now, away with you, for I'm ready to plant!

11/52

"a portrait of each of my children, once each week, in 2018."

Cruz: You read so much this past week and it's so sweet watching you curl up in a cozy spot with a good book.  You finished Walt Disney's biography (these biography books are SO great for early readers) and passed on loads of information to us, read another Hilo book from Grandma in a morning's time, and lost yourself in Daddy's collection of Calvin and Hobb's books we found while cleaning out the storage room.  You're a reader and I'm more than happy to create lots of cozy spots for you to curl up with a good book!

Mila: You're sixteen days straight of waking up in a dry pull-up and I think we're finally on to something!  You've also been hard to wake up in the mornings, but I love sneaking into your room to see you peacefully sleeping in your bed.  I get these glimpses of you when you're sixteen and they make me smile.

10/52

"a portrait of each of my children, once each week, in 2018."

Cruz: You are an easy man to please and I love that about you.  When I asked what you were most hoping to do during your week off from school, you said you just wanted to build a leprechaun trap.  You've got quite the memory and remembered every single detail about last year's.  We worked together last week and came up with quite the creative design; that is, until that darn leprechaun saw passed our sinister plan Sunday morning!

Mila: This about sums up how you play these days.  We've learned to let it go, though, because you seem to thrive in this messy space.  When you play, I like to pause and listen from outside your door.  The other day, it went something like this...

"I said cut it out!  You are breaking his heart!  Cut it out!" ...

"I think we should pray.  God is great, God is good, and we thank Him for this food.  Amen."

Our Spring Break Week

It's the Monday after Spring Break and I wish I could bottle up this Monday morning feeling I've got going this morning, for it's far different than how I feel most Monday mornings!  Beau and I woke up early, got a good workout in, ate our eggs and sausage together, did our daily devotions, and talked schedules and plans for the week ahead before the kids were even out of bed.  The sun was shining, the temps are supposed to climb into the fifties, and Mila willingly wore the pants outfit I picked out for her...this alone was a big deal!  Beau and Mila were off on time, Cruz and I made it to the bus on time, and I treated myself to a skinny caramel latte on the way to work.  We tackled a huge storage room overhaul this past weekend, made some money selling some treasures that are now in new homes, and are looking forward to a weekend of hosting some of our very favorite people here.  And I'm in the final push of my semester, just six weeks shy of a summer break at home with my two favorite kids.  I'm feeling motivated, energized, and excited to get after it and do these days well.  And when not every morning goes this way, as many don't, well, I'll have my bottle of this Monday morning magic to sprinkle the stress away. ;)

We didn't travel this past Spring Break week, but made good use of our week to reset and recharge right here at home.  I had plans to organize, spring clean, and shop a little, but made sure to also be intentional about doing none of that some days and just have fun with the kids.  Knowing myself, if I make a list of some good jobs to tackle that make me feel accomplished at the beginning of the week, I can relax and focus on having fun the rest of the week.  And that's pretty much how our week went!  A mix of productive and play, quiet and social, full and slow. 

Our Spring Break week included...

|| Some basement organizing!  We are nearing the final stages of this project and it feels pretty amazing to have nearly every square inch of this house complete.  We moved in three years ago this month and Beau and I are so glad we waited to finish this basement off until now.  One of the best parts of building is the opportunity to build just what you need...in my case, a closet strictly for craft supplies!  I spent one Sunday afternoon organizing all the supplies from about twelve different places in our home, and making a new home for all of it in one place.  It's organized, it's labeled, and it makes me smile every time I open the door.  I even threw together a bigger box of lots of random supplies and labeled it "Creativity Box" for the kids to dig into on rainy days this summer. 

The before... 

And the happily ever after...

I wasn't the only person in this house doing some work this week!  We hosted a big ole party with Beau's work friends and put the kids to work last weekend.  I love the way Mila held her dress up so it wouldn't get wet.    

|| Beau took a day off work last week and we decided to brave the youth pavilion as part of their dollar admission for "The World's Greatest Spring Break."  The youth pavilion was busy and loud, but our lunch at Single Speed afterwards was worth it.  

|| We made pancakes for supper and followed it up with a long but successful game of The Game of Life.  I won the game with my longterm wages as a doctor, Beau came in last by a long shot, Cruz had six kids even though he said someday he only wants one or two, and Mila lost interest within five minutes of playing.  But she did chime in and say she wanted sixty kids someday!  

|| We had a lot of dance parties.  We listened to The Greatest Showman soundtrack at least twenty-two times this past week and have committed to seeing the movie in theaters at least one more time before it leaves.  We are big fans around here.

|| We spent a good day crafting out of our newly organized craft closet.  First we constructed a leprechaun trap.  It was a team effort with a lot of trial-and-error.  

|| Since it was too cold to picnic outside, we decided on a picnic inside instead.  And now the kids like to apologize like the bunnies in Peter Rabbit.  It's adorably sweet, until one of them presses a little hard and ticks the other one off. :)

|| The way he makes her giggle.  They really are the best of friends.  

|| More crafting!  This one took me ten minutes to set up and about five minutes for them to complete, BUT, they turned out cute and look especially colorful on our wall.  

I told Mila to write her name really nice and she got this devious little smirk on her face and proceeded to write her name as silly as she could.  Look how proud she is of her effort!

Cruz, on the other hand, nailed it.

|| We had quiet time and read lots of good books.  

|| We got some fresh air and sunshine at the playground.  Mila discovered she is a big fan of underdogs and Cruz discovered he is a little too short to get it done for her.  This created lots of giggles between the two of them.  

Mila passionately turned down the plain gray leggings I picked for her to wear under her dress and decided on these reindeer ones instead.  She completed her look with her favorite accessory, a headband.  She fit right in at our trip to Wal-Mart afterwards. ;)

|| We snuggled up for a movie night or two

|| We kicked off St. Patty's weekend with a rainbow and cloud breakfast and a visit from Grandma.  

|| A clean house...

|| Some sensory bin fun (this craft closet has opened up all kinds of new doors around here!)

|| And a little green party to celebrate the Irish, March Madness, and friends!  Beau made reubens and they were delicious, the kids ran around and played Just Dance until 11:00, and we all got to cheer on UMBC and watch them make history as they beat #1 seeded Virginia.  

|| And as for our leprechaun?  He came, grabbed his gold, and left a little mischief for the kids as well.  Those balloons had a long string attached to them that made its way all around the house and into our bedroom, where a big pile of gold was left for the kids.  Cruz is already devising his plan of action for next year. ;) 

|| And lastly, a weekend well spent.  We tackled the epic storage room, a room that has been neglected since beginning the basement finish over a year ago.  It was quite the mess, but I'm happy to report that those concrete floors are so clean I'd let your kid eat off them.  Mila even tested them for you!

Happy Spring!  I'm ignoring the snow flurries in the forecast and focusing on the bright side of things.  Like this unicorn Mila so diligently painted.