This morning, one of my ninth graders wandered up to my desk and announced that she could not begin her memoir because she had a case of 'writer's block.' I, of course, proceeded to give her a number of prompts, brainstorming ideas, and lists to help her fill pages and conquer the daunting blank page staring her in the face.
And now tonight, as a freshly bathed and clean pajama'ed Cruz lazily sways in his swing, I sit and stare at my blank computer screen. Writer's block has settled in my pores. My fingertips shy away from the keyboard for fear of failure, and my pinkie has spent too much time on the backspace button this week. So, in hopes of conquering my own blank page and foggy head, I will practice what I preach.
It's called a stream-of-consciousness write. A writing exercise I often give my students to help unpack the thoughts that fill their hormonal heads. A chance to write whatever it is that is taking up space in one's mind, hoping that the process will puncture a hole that allows the creative juices to flow freely on the page, and that in a swarm of words, something thoughtful, meaningful, or worthwhile will spill on the page.
...Cruz got his first phone number today. One of his cute, blond daycare girls followed us out the door this afternoon and shyly said she put a 'note for Cruz' in his school bag. She wanted to know if we had a baby-sitter for him and that if we didn't, she was interested. She said she loved our son and would love the chance to watch him outside of daycare. And sure enough, in his bag, there was a little note with Cruz's name on it, along with his very first set of digits. I'm just glad to know there are some girls out there who can look past his terrible smelling toots...
...Cruz has been battling another cold this week, and had his first 'guy's day' with Dad on Wednesday. And thanks to a suggestion from a fellow Mama, we discovered a wonderful little life-saver with a somewhat disgusting concept. It's called the Nosefrida, aka, 'Snot Sucker.' "Doctor invented and Dr. Sears recommended," it's basically a nasal aspirator for parents who kick ass. This is because in order to get the snot out of the baby's nose, you suck through a tube-like device that connects the baby's nose to the parent's mouth. Trust me, it's "snot" as bad as it sounds. The tube is quite long, and there's a sponge that serves as a stopper in the middle of the tube. The baby phlegm doesn't get close to your mouth, and it works like a dream. Possibly one of the best finds we've scored since bringing home baby. And besides the fact that we kind of feel like we're performing brain-sucking experiments on our little man, it doesn't bother him at all.
...I'm ready for spring. It's been so dreary this week, and after that 62 degree 'teaser' last week, winter has become slightly depressing. I'm ready to clean windows, plant flowers, and play Superman with Cruz on a quilt in the middle of the backyard. I'm ready for nightly walks, grilled burgers, and sunshine. I'm ready for dates at the park, ice cream cones, and tulips.
...To nurse my weary winter blues, I found a few treasures to brighten up my living room and feed my need for a little season change. Our living room has become a baby haven, and the burp cloths, baby toys, and blankies have slowly taken over. So, while Cruz watched from his jumper, I slowly replaced pacifiers with fresh votives, Baby Einstein toys with a pot of tulips, and fleece blankies with a new pillow.
It did the trick.
...Tonight, Beau is brewing with his guy friends and I am soaking up a Thursday night at home with my baby boy. I held him extra long while he slept, smelled the top of his head, and pressed my cheek against his little forehead. He was so tired, the kind of tired that allowed me to cradle his limp little body like a sack of potatoes. These little moments are the kind that make me wish I could stay present all the time. The moments that leave me a little out of breath knowing that every day he's growing bigger and someday, he's not going to fit this way in my arms.
...We have a busy weekend in store. A weekend of cleaning and laundry, friends, and chili. Yes, the Annual Toads Chili Cook-ON is this weekend, and my husband is going for his fourth win. More to come!