Cruz Bennett Turns NINE

Cruz Bennett, today you turn NINE.  The older you grow, the more I cherish the gift it is to raise you.  I think in those early years, we’re elbow deep in diaper and bottle feedings and the days feel long but your whole life awaits ahead of us.  And we exist in this fragile but sweet bubble where our worlds are just enveloped in you.  But every year since, you grow a little bit taller, learn a whole lot more, and step a little farther out of that bubble and into the vast world around you.  And sometimes I feel like I watch you and hold my breath.  I see what you can’t see yet – the pressure, the chase, the fast pace – and I want to sweep you up and go back to our little rocking recliner by the picture window in our house on Fleur.  But then I realize I’m looking at it from the wrong angle.  Instead of looking to the world and wondering how on earth I’m supposed to raise you up in it well, I need to simply keep my eyes on you.  I need to see you for the precious, unique, gifted boy God made you to be.  What a gift it is to get to bring these little beings into this world, completely untainted and uninhibited by everything around them.  And what a gift it is to get to watch, discover, and nurture just the boy you are.

You are in your second year of flag football and this season has had its fair share of ups and downs.  You started the season so excited – on a team with so many of your buds, especially your best friend, Lincoln.  You loved flag football last year and could hardly wait to get the season started.  But after your first few games, you missed a couple passes and struggled with a few hand-offs and you were SO hard on yourself.  There was one game in particular when nothing was going right.  You missed a hand-off and were just done.  Your head hanging so low, you walked off the field, and broke down to your dad on the sidelines.  And you were bummed and sad all the way until bedtime.  I felt it all for you and wanted to do what any mom wants to do – just fix it.  

And then, there was our night a week later.  Everything went your way.  You caught big passes, scored three touchdowns, and went on to score a two-point conversion on your own touchdown.  You were having a blast, running hard, cheering on your teammates, and you got to do the huddle chant at the end of the game.  You were celebrated and left the field that night feeling on top of the world.  

But you know the best part of it all?  At home that night, you said you hoped your buddy Kalven had a big game like you the next week.  Because as good as it felt to be on top, you also knew how it felt when things didn’t go that way.  We sure like to share the big wins and successes for the world to see, but it’s the misses that teach us what it means to see others well.  And as hard as it is to watch you step into those spaces, they’re going to teach you a whole lot of important stuff along the way.

Cruz, you are officially half way to adulthood, and if your first half of life is any indication of what your second half will entail, we are in for a great ride of raising you.  Here are nine things I sure love about you at NINE: 

1. You are funny and have the best laugh in the world.  But I just can’t find the humor in all your “try not to laugh challenges” you’re obsessed with on youtube

2. We call you nature boy for good reason.  We see a different side of you come out whenever we’re in the woods.  I get it, buddy.  Decorah camping is your favorite and I will never forget when you told Nate that the reason you loved it so much is because nobody had their phones with them. 

3. You have an eclectic mix of friends and do not seem to have any time or desire to hang with the rowdy or "show off" crowd.  You love to play football at recess with Lincoln, but could follow it up with a 45 minute conversation about Star Wars with Nick.  You are a champion for the students who just need a good friend, you stayed in for lunch recess for a month straight because a kid with a broken arm kept asking you to, and your favorite thing in the world is a free night to play outside with the neighbors until dark.

4. You value family and our connection above all else.  You don’t love babysitters because you’d rather just have us all at home together, but you also are wise enough to understand it’s important for dad and I to have a life beyond you.  You love charcuterie nights around the table, movie nights when we can snuggle, and your favorite night of summer was the one where we all sat around the fire after pizza night and told stories about each other.

5. You are smart and you love to learn.  It all seems to come pretty easy for you.  Except tying your shoes, and keeping track of your lunchbox, sweatshirt, football flags, etc.  I hope you learn to tie your shoes by the time you are ten!

6. You love your sister.  People ask us if you’re really as sweet with each other as you look in pictures and I always say yes!  She makes you laugh more than any of us can and it’s been really fun to watch you do school together this year. 

7. You are my sensitive boy.  You still don’t care for scary movies and still want us to leave your door open at night.  You also still hug and kiss me before school.  I wonder how long that will last!

8. You are passionate about the things you love, whether it’s your newest Alexa playlist, a book you can’t put down, or your newest endeavor, weight lifting.  You told Dad you wanted to get bigger arms and have been “hitting the gym” in the basement this past week.  I think I can already tell a difference. ;)

9. You are weird and have some weird quirks!  Like your Get Air socks or your favorite fleece pajamas or suckers and a TV show in the bathtub! 

Happy Birthday to you, Cruz.  We all love you so much!