Not only is it hard to believe I am halfway through this pregnancy, but it is even harder to believe that I am writing my 21 week letter to my son. Last week, the day of and the days following the ultrasound were surreal...I almost felt like a completely different person. I think for the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I was playing. Overeating and enjoying every minute of it, sleeping long nights away, and dancing around the fact that I would be a mom in October. Don't get me wrong...I felt pregnant, and being an English teacher, I'm a pretty reflective person, yet I don't think it had completely sunk in.
That is until I saw you last Tuesday, your little hands and little feet, your rump and your little bald head, that everything became stand-still real. A little scary real even. In about 20 weeks, our simple little life will turn into something entirely new...
...it was a life-changing moment. One of the only I can really encounter in my life.
And if last week evoked that much of a response, I can't imagine what it is going to be like the first time I really see you. Really touch you. Really hold you in my arms and love you forever.
So...for the next 20 weeks, I want to feel pregnant. I want to take every little minute of being so closely connected with you and embrace it. I don't want to look back on my pregnancy and wish I had felt pregnant a little more. I want to stay up late in bed, crunching through an apple, watching TV, and deciding on the perfect name for you. I want to lay in the sun, read a good book, and feel every kick you can give you me. I want to cook like Pioneer Woman, set the table, and introduce your little tastebuds to a world of wonderful flavors. Most of all, I want to recreate a summer that focuses on the simple things...
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