Dear Cruz...

Hi baby,

This week, as we say goodbye to your fourth month, I can't help but feel a little nostalgic.  I'm not sure if it has to do with Chris and Windee welcoming their new little arrival this week, or attending a baby shower, or getting caught up in the videos we took of you during your first few weeks of life, but I'm having some baby fever and wishing I could snap my fingers and hold you when you were a week old.  When I look back at that time of your birth, everything was so new, so fresh, and so unreal, that it's hard to remember the details.  Now that I've had time to break in these mama shoes of mine, I do wish I could go back from time to time and just look in on you when you were so tiny.  

You are just changing so much, growing and learning more every day, and sometimes, I feel my head spinning trying to keep up with you and stay 'in the moment' amidst all that is life.  Life is so busy and I just wish I could stop time every now and then.  Keep you as you are until I'm ready to see the next stage.  It just goes so quick...it seems like every day, you're doing something new and I blink and it's gone. 

What a fun fourth month you had!  Your smiles are constant and so contagious.  You know exactly how to charm your dad and I.  Your giggle melts us and you've become such a funny little addition to our family.  You just belong.  We've melded together into this little unit that just works.  We work like pretzels and peanut butter, strawberries and chocolate, and freezy pops and summertime. 

I know that I cannot stop time, but I can control what I do with the time I have every day.  It's about cherishing every detail of this time in our lives.  This time of discovering how to be parents, discovering how to raise a child, and discovering how to balance and make the most of this time we have together.  You challenge me to be a better mom and a better human being every day, and little by little, I'm learning.

So in short, I know you don't have much control over this one, but please don't grow up too fast.  Don't grow tired of cuddling with your mommy after work.  Don't stop giggling that little burly laugh when your dad and I rub our foreheads in your tummy.  Don't lose your wondrous fascination with the world around you.  And don't you lose those forehead wrinkles.  Stay small, at least until I can figure out how to soak up and remember every piece of you...

Love you to pieces and pieces...

Mom