Dear Baby J...
Hi baby boy. In t-minus five weeks (give or take), you will exit my womb and enter our lives. And as every day goes by, I'm more and more ready for that to happen. I can't quite imagine how all of this is going to play out, the pre-labor and eventually labor, the hospital, the delivery, and the first few days of parenthood. It catches me off guard every now and then and I get a little out of breath thinking about it. It's hard to put into words, that's for sure.
For awhile, early in this pregnancy, I was perfectly content with you growing and staying safe and sound inside of me. In fact, I didn't really like to think about the certainty that laid before me...the fact that eventually, you had to come out. All of the blockbuster movies and TLC episodes of 'A Baby Story,' were no longer funny or sweet, but rather, a little horrific to watch. I was much more content choosing to think about cute maternity dresses and baby sleepers over epidural needles and stirrups.
Every now and then, I become strong woman. I feel hints of feminism bursting from my veins, proud that I get to take part in the process of birthing a child, embracing my womanhood and baby-bearing hips. I listen to Salt n' Pepa's 'Push It,' and feel prepared and ready to work it in the delivery room.
Which of the following two scenarios do you think cloud my thoughts more?!?!
Lately, I just feel content. Content knowing that I have millions of women on my side. Women like my Great Grandma Hoodjer, who gave birth to not one, but two sets of twins, or my Great Grandma Miller, who basically gave birth to half the town of Allison (I think she had around 11 kids). I think about all the women who had their babies at home, with nothing but a blanket, a shot of whiskey, and a stick to bite on. No hospital beds, no drugs, and no giant whirlpool (I'm excited for this part).
When I think about all of them, I feel like a big wimp. A big wimp that can by all means deliver a baby.
So, as you get closer and closer to D-Day, know that I am mentally preparing to be strong woman. I may cringe when Beau attempts to get a sliver out of my foot, but childbirth...no problem ;)
Respectfully and lovingly yours,